Sergeant Grumpy

Writer's Block Sucks

2011-06-07T17:57:00.001-06:00

Been so long since I've logged in, the colors on my blog look faded?!

Update and such

2010-03-30T14:08:00.003-06:00

Well it has been a long time old friends. After getting prodded, cajoled, threatened, etc I am going to try to get to this a little more often. More often than never I suppose is setting a low bar for myself, but what the hell it's my blog.

For anyone who is interested, things have been pleasantly normal for the most part. I have had a few health problems not least of the shoulder for which I had surgery in 2008, but most of you already new that. I have also been diagnosed with Reactive Airway Disease from what I can only guess was expose to all the crap in the air in Iraq. Sounds worse than it is and seems easily treatable. I also came down with some bad abdominal issues late last year - I had been having some trouble during Iraq and upon my return, but then I also had to go to India for work about a month before things got really bad.

So after a long slog and nothing clear coming from any of the tests, the docs says I have Irritable Bowel Syndrome. Nice, what part of me isn't irritable? No matter. Enough blabber, next up I am going to work a little humor related to my Bosnia tour. I figure I few posts on that shitshow should warm me up for some Iraq stories. And I'll trust CI Roller will keep me honest about it.

Finally a realistic warfare video game

2009-11-13T00:50:00.001-07:00

Ultra-Realistic Modern Warfare Game Features Awaiting Orders, Repairing Trucks

This made me laugh.

Interrogation Training

2009-09-23T09:50:00.004-06:00

Eh, I mean "interviewing." This is a great training clip that highlights all the things I ever learned from the CI-Roller Dude. Wanted to share this while I ponder what update to write, ...

Good Cop, Baby Cop from Will Ferrell

Another runner in the race!

2009-09-22T09:21:00.007-06:00

Thank you to everyone who donated to the IMSFF - I am proud to report that Ravee has exceeded his goal, so I now owe a few posts. But I also want to call attention to another runner, who deserves our support - I can't report his story better than is done at War on Terror News, definitely an inspirational story even if you can't support his run (but you should [;)

Thanks to Hope for "sparking" the rivalry, but no matter who gets the donations it is a great cause all round. All the passion almost makes me consider running a marathon - well, no not really. I still prefer to jump in rather than hump in.

For those of you who have donated or just have an interest, you can get updates of the runners during the race by signing up on the MCM site

Real support of the Troops

2009-09-11T11:30:00.003-06:00

A friend of mine is running his first marathon and decided to honor those who have served by running in the 2009 Marine Corps Marathon and raise money for the Injured Marine Semper Fi Fund. Please consider helping him reach his goal of $1,000 raised in exchange for sore limbs and joints, and weeks of hard training.

If he reaches his goal, I promise to write an update and a deployment post.

Have a Great Fourth

2009-07-03T14:56:00.003-06:00

And remember how Blessed you are to live here.

I dig this shirt

Gathering Storm 2008

2009-04-18T17:33:00.006-06:00

February - March 2008, Basra, Iraq - news headlines that didn't get much coverage until after the fact.

- Growing violence in Basra, security situation in question.

- Criminal gangs taking control of commerce in port city.

- British forces deny increase in violence.

- Iraqi police in Basra rumored to be told to "stay in barracks" by militia.

- Women in Basra beheaded for "immodesty" for not wearing hijab.

- Children playing soccer executed for "playing games of the infidel."

- Street markets empty, people fearful of going out.

While pressure built on Prime Minister al-Maliki to act to contain the violence, the British operation in Iraq since PM Blair left office amounted to little but a PR operation to hide the fact that they had failed the people of Basra. Moving the British draw-down forward was a critical political consideration in London, and so Coalition forces tried hard to avoid having to act.

The factions took over entire units of the police force, and maneuvered their members into key positions in the government and state-run Southern Oil Co. Some also beat and killed unveiled women in a city once regarded as a liberal, intellectual center. And all are implicated in smuggling millions of dollars' worth of oil, while the city is bereft of basic services such as electricity and clean water.

The vicious rivalry has resulted in periodic gunfights. But British officials say 90% of the violence is directed against them.

That, they argue, is the key difference between Basra and Baghdad. If British troops were taken out, what would be left is a mafia-style conflict for economic and political leverage, rather than the sectarian killing that is tearing Baghdad and other areas.

"This is Palermo, not Beirut," said one senior British officer, who asked not to be identified.

The clouds had gathered and were heavy with vengeance and anger. The storm was about to break and rain down hell on the city of Basra, as it's people huddle in their homes and begged for someone to help them......

Great Read

2009-04-15T00:44:00.005-06:00

In the event that there is anyone that Hope hasn't already introduced this to, you gotta go read this blog. I'm still having trouble reconciling the fact that a Marine can, as my team sergeant and former force recon said "put them words together like that", but hey gotta give props.

Happy Easter Infidels - Whoomp

2009-04-12T15:19:00.005-06:00

This Easter I am quite happy to be at home for a quiet day with the wife and kids. Last Easter was very different, and it was the start of a series of events that led to a big drop off in my writing. Actually, it all begins a few days before Easter, but that will wait, because since it is Easter I want to recount what it was like for us last year.

We had recently made a big capture and a significant haul in XXXX[insurgent group] ordinance to include rockets, mortars, ammo, etc. - but the real shocker was the plates and explosives to make over 200 EFPs. This was a major blow and threatened to undo a lot of back-channel bridge building that we had been working on for months. But our message was clear - come into the open and join the political process, or we will continue to support and encourage Iraqi Forces to hammer you. Losing the EFPs was really bad for XXXX[insurgent group], because they were provided by Iran, and losing them means answer to their Iranian masters.

But more later, the point for this story is we had surprised them, and there had been no response. Odd really, because they usually made a show of tit-for-tat. Our catch was a big deal on our side, so much so that we were responding to RFIs from Gen P, plus having to deal with all the fighting over who should get credit for the intel, for the catch, etc. Fact is we were happy to let our conventional Brothers take as much credit as they wanted, the real issue was ensuring our Iraqis got credit so that we could boost their profile and get them more funding.

Quick backstory - the MOI felt that the unit we were training was too politically independent, too close to the Americans, and they didn't like the outspoken General in command. The Ministry had been trying to starve them of beans and bullets to make them complie. Our hope was to get them enough, what I call fuck you money, and top-line press coverage that the GOI would be forced into better support.

So what did this mean for your faithful correspondent? Lots of fucking paperwork, RFIs from Group, RFIs from the Iraqis, RFIs for the 101st, RFIs from the S2 who was blind to our original reasons for the mission. And several, shall we say, "sit-downs" in the family style, with CO over just exactly where did I get my info.

From my journal entry of that day:

23 MAR 2008 - Easter
There has been quite a bit of interest in the HVI and I spend most of the day trying to get back to people and tie different threads together, go thru his XXXX, DOCEX and such. I spent hours answering RFI from people I couldn't get to return my e-mails putting this all together, and now everyone is trying to either cover their fourth point of contact, or claim it was their idea. Ugggghh, I need to lie down because I have a massive headache and am tired.

I was in my rack about 45 minutes, I was in that nether state between wake and sleep when

WHOOMP!!

a concussion I more felt than heard jarred me up and I was on feet and moving before my concious mind was able to catch with what was going on.

WHOOMP, WHOOMP, WHOOMP-WHOOMP

These coming in close to each other, usually it was a WHOOMP......WHOOMP.....WHOOMP, you could almost picture the hajji dropping one, grabbing another, holding....drop, WHOOMP. But there are at least two tubes firing, I can't see a damn thing, but I know my route well by now. I peer in the bunker -

WHOOMPWHOOMPWHOOMP

- damn it there must be three tubes firing. Some of the guys are in there, the Capt'n and my Linguist. "Terp M", as we called him, is already on the phone - I think to myself he's come a long way. He finally realizes I need him talking to people right away instead of running around like a .. well you get it.

WHOOMPWHOOMP..WHOOMP

God damn, these guys staying out there, I hope there's some birds in the area to smoke 'em. Usually these pop a few and run so we can't a fix, but these coming consistently, the TOC's gotta have a fix on 'em.

WHOOMPWHOOMPWHOOOMP

Shit, these sound closer than usual (they weren't - it turned out they firing 81mm at us instead of the 60mm they usually did). Capt'n - "GOD DAMN, SOMEBODY WANTS TO KIIILL ME!!!!" We can't help but laugh. The barrage went on for a long time, turned out not be the only one in Iraq at the moment, but we did get hit with the most, and for a tiny little firebase - it was a significant message that they pissed the fuck off....and they were only getting started.

We found out later that at almost the same moment, the Green Zone was getting well wishes from Iran.

Happy Easter Infidel.

Dealing with terps, the unoffical true version

2009-04-07T11:30:00.001-06:00

"Every rotation does it."

"No one will ever know."

If you are working with an interpreter, and they utter either of these phrases, go ahead and punch them right in the mouth. More Soldiers have gotten into trouble listening to there terps than I care to count.

Before I get into this, I do need to make a distinction between military linguists, who are Soldiers who happen to speak a foreign language, contract interpreters, who, by and large, are native speakers of another language, and have somehow immigrated to the US, and local linguists who are, well, local nationals who speak enough english to get a job with US forces. My focus here is not military linguist - they are Soldiers and should be treated as such. I was lucky enough to work with one in Iraq and he was a tremendous asset. The picture at the top is of he and I at rest after a long week.

So back to the quotes above, I have heard both of these from terps in the past, and it is usually at the begining of the rotation. My experience has been that the suggestion they are making, is not for the benefit of my team. While it might be something we would enjoy (oh like, "we can cross the border and go party in Zagreb!" or "I used to sneak women on base for the last rotation all the time"), the motivation is usually something to do with the terp himself.

Fortunately, I don't have any good stories about guys sleeping with female terps, we were smart enough not to hire any and avoided that nonsense. But I suppose you could google all the pics Joe has posted on the internet. [;)

Sergeant Grumpy's Rules for dealing with Terps

You are in charge, not the Terp
I have been in a situation where a terp, who in fairness had been at the base we were working at a long time, said during a meeting when told to translate something, "No, we aren't going to do that, I won't translate it." Eventually, like a precocious puppy who nips all the time and doesn't get disciplined and eventually bites, terps start to think they know more than Soldiers they work for. This happens because people fail to manage terps like they do their subordinates. If this is happening, stop and re-set expectations with your terp, and make it damn clear. If the terp can't adapt, get rid of him if you can. The terp in this story ended up being sent packing after one month.

You must communicate with your terp
While terps are tools, they are not screwdrivers. You won't get the best results by just throwing them into a meeting at the last minute without warning. While OPSEC concerns must be respected, take the time to pre-brief him or her on what general topics you plan on covering, if there are any specialized vocabulary you intend to use, say you are going to discuss issues related to a water treatment plant, the terp might need to do a little research. And take this time to remind the terp, you work for me, translate just what I say, try to use my tone of voice, etc.

Then do a quick debrief while you review your notes, this is a chance for you to give immediate feedback to the terp to reinforce positive performance and demand improvement in weak areas. It also is a chance to ask for their help if there are areas in your notes that are lacking, or if something was said you didn't understand, but didn't want to break the flow.

You will check your terp
My experience tells me terps will get lazy in their use of language, and some have personal hang ups over using profanity, etc. You need to take the time to learn a few words so you can test your terp. If you find he hasn't used the word you are expecting, this has to be addressed immediately after the meeting. The easiest of course are to use the profanity which always seems to be the easiest to pick up. Another good tactic is to bring in a linguist who the term doesn't know speaks, of course this only works once, but puts him on notice.

You will treat your your terps like they are sources
Because guess what, they are. You terps will likely have many, many side conversations with all the important local nationals you visit with. And they will also talk to all the other terps on base, who are also talking to people all over town. Get it? Now, the other rules above will require you to take a tough line with your terp from time to time, but if you handle that professionally, and take the time and effort to actually build a relationship with them, you will gain access to a ton of information. Don't like your terp? Too damn bad, I'm not asking you to become domestic parnters, I am saying the terp better think you two have a good relationship. And never ever forget that the terps gossip and talk shit about each other and Soldiers on base, don't give him anything to say about you other than "he's a hard ass sometimes, but he's fair."

Corrallary: Do not treat your military linguists like terps.
They are god-damn Soldiers, not terps, so treat them like the rest of your Soldiers. Nuff said.

New website for Grumpy

2009-04-04T17:44:00.003-06:00

I have stood up a new domain for my blog, and along with it a new website - SergeantGrumpy.com. It is still rough around the edges as I have neither too much money, nor too much time to work on it, but it is functional. It's mostly a shell right now, but I will continue to build it out over time. If you have ideas on what you would like to see there, let me know. Mostly, it is for me to screw around a little and practice with PHP and HTML. I do hope to raise some money too, as I've got friends downrange I'd like to send some care packages to, besides the cost of actually keeping the site up.

Okay, now I am going to put the finishing touches on my interpreter piece, it seems each time I proof it I want to change it all over again.

AfPak plan given poor marks?

2009-03-30T09:05:00.007-06:00

Mike was early in saying Iraq was sliding into civil war, was one of the first to call the surge a success (he saw it from a grounds-eye view), and left Iraq for Afghanistan almost two years ago because that was where he felt the center shift. He drew attention to the crisis brewing in Afghanistan long before even McCain.

Of course now all that is conventional wisdom. While he could be wrong this time, it is worrying that, as he says:

There is little in the Obama plan to be excited about. Some have called it "bold," but from my boots it looks like a recipe for disaster.

We are steaming toward failure in AfPak, but with more steam than ever before.

I am not read on enough to know the truth, and as in Iraq, I am quite sure the "truth" is shrouded in a veil.

At any rate, if Mike is saying it, it is worth considering.

Back to work

2009-03-27T13:16:00.003-06:00

I go on terminal leave starting Monday, having completed the clearing and demob processes last week. I have a few things to take care of up at my Guard unit and then I am back to work as a civie! For those that are interested, I have started another blog focused on Project Management called The Grumpy PM. I imagine it will be a bit dull for most of my readers, but if you are interested in project management, I'll see you there.

Up next: best practices for dealing with terps. CI Roller, I'm expecting you to weigh in.

Shoulder Recovery Update and WTU thoughts

2009-03-12T10:58:00.004-06:00

I have been medically cleared by my surgeon and physical therapist to "return to duty", which for me means I can finish the demobilization process and return to civilian life. I have been warned that I will need to "watch it" with my shoulder and be disciplined about sticking with the PT program for at least 12 months. And the while the shoulder is much stronger, it still ain't right, so to speak.

So I expect in the next few weeks to wrap things up, clear my medical hold unit (the WTU), be returned to my Guard unit and go on terminal leave. Fortunately for me, I have found a good job and will start working right away. I want to thank everyone for their support while I've been stuck on this.

I also want to say that the cadre and staff in the Warrior Transition Unit (WTU) have been excellent. The Army's WTU system has been getting some bad press lately, and while I can't speak for other WTU's or the specific charges made by other current/former Soldiers, it is my opinion that this is a vastly better system than what was in place previously, and I find it hard to believe any Soldier could fall through the cracks, failed to get the help and support they needed, or didn't have access to an incredible array of resources unless they (the Soldier) willed it so. I certainly can believe the charges recently made about excessive discipline, unfortunately the Army has Officers with that kind of mentality. I can also say from observation though, that many WTU Soldiers fail to show even the most basic motivation to get up in the morning and go to the appointments that will help them heal. Where is the line between the Army's responsibility and the Soldiers? Personally, I feel that Army should provide support and resources without resorting to coddling Soldiers - that does not help the Soldier at all, and in fact may worsen their self-esteem already damaged by not being back with their units. I don't have the answer, but I do believe that allowing Soldiers to sit around and cruise the Internet and play video games all day is worse for them than holding them to a personal plan of recovery and self development. That would not include of course police call and standing guard. What do you think?

All in all, my experience has been a very positive one, and I am grateful to the support from my surgeon, the post hospital, my case manager, and company cadre. Everything was fairly efficient, people were professional, and my personal needs and situation were taken into account when developing my recovery plan.

Up next: I have been working on drafting some Bosnia and Iraq stories, my goal is to publish about one a week. I also have something else I am preparing to launch in a week or two. Check back!

More Honor Killings in the US

2009-02-17T15:15:00.005-07:00

As the muslim population in the US increases, don't be surprised to see more these - coming to a town near you soon.

Muslim Television Channel Founder Charged With Beheading His Wife

Here's what this prick had to say about the founding of his TV station.

"Every day on television we are barraged by stories of a 'Muslim extremist, militant, terrorist, or insurgent,'" Hassan said in the 2004 release. "But the stories that are missing are the countless stories of Muslim tolerance, progress, diversity, service and excellence that Bridges TV hopes to tell."

Good job asshole, hope you rot in hell. The other travesty on this is New York is charging this guy with SECOND degree murder. WTF? Where is CAIR on this?

Oh that? Hey, how about those Broncos? (Job searching Blues)

2009-02-17T08:53:00.004-07:00

Two times in the past week, I have been asked during job interviews if I thought I could be deployed again anytime soon. Ughhh.

Never mind that this is a completely inappropriate, possibly illegal, question. In both cases the person asking had a feeling they shouldn't be asking, based on their sudden awkwardness, trying to make it sound like idle conversation. Clearly it wasn't and it could be a knock-out criteria when it comes to the positions I am interviewing for. It is the same reason I was told I would never make the step in a previous job, and should consider whether I want to focus on my career or the Guard.

So how do you answer this? I can't just refuse to answer or tell them indignantly that they can't ask such questions. I can't just turn around and sue - that would ruin my reputation in my field and I'd be done. So I did what any good "mess-kit repairman" would do and fudged the answer and deflected the conversation in another direction. Both interviews went well, but of course I walked away with a rotten feeling.

It seems to me this is emblematic of the broader attitude citizens in this country have taken for the war - thank you for your service, as long as it doesn't inconvenience me or affect my ability to buy more useless crap.

It's not that I don't understand - no one I knew had trouble after the Gulf War, but we are now in a protracted struggle (Iraq/Afghanistan/Iran?Hezbollah/Pakistan/Somalia/Yemen/Saudi Arabia/etc.) that we are only half fighting, and as a result will drag out for years. The impact on America's businesses and especially Emergency Services (many, many Reservists are police, firefighters, and EMTs) is really poorly understood. It is hard enough to lose any staff and have to protect their jobs in an uncertain economy, but senior positions are impossible. You have to replace the person immediately for the sake of the business. And then you just pray for the best upon return. I guess that is why you don't see many talented business people in the service. The only exception is Defense Contractors. The reliance on the Guard and Reserves has pushed many to the point of getting out. I have often thought we should either increase the size of the AD Army and Marines, or just call everyone up for the duration and fight to win, like in WWII. Constantly switching back and forth between civilian and military life is extremely taxing.

Either that or Guard Soldiers need to have a sugar momma/daddy and then just be Guard bums. I guess I missed that one!

The Assault on Gun Rights Begins

2009-02-12T09:25:00.008-07:00

I was going to start writing some war stories, but this got my ire up.

You would think what with two wars and an economy in dire straights that gun control would be a back burner issue, but the assault on the rights of gun owners and hunters has begun. I am not going to go into a long rant, but I encourage my readers to contact their representatives and let them know how you feel, and sign this petition, and challenge people you know who support gun control.

I'd also challenge anyone to let me know how gun control is going to do anything to stop gun violence. Criminals do not buy guns legally and would not be subject to these new laws. This is a Big Brother mentality far worse than the Bush administration's anti-terrorist wire tapping, which has real potential to keep America safe (I know this from the inside, so don't bother trying to argue). These laws hide behind sound bites of "reducing gun violence", but in reality introduce vast and onerous regulations in an attempt to make it impossible to comply.

Besides all that, this is an issue the several States already regulate. The differences in regulation are based on the differences in the values between places like Colorado, Texas, New York, and California. I choose to live in a State with loose gun laws because I value the right of protecting my family, and I am not some chicken shit who is afraid to hold a gun, let alone use it on someone who threatens my kids. If you want to live in a society where only criminals have weapons, then move to CA or the East Coast. But don't shove that down my throat

Or wildlife for that matter - my 90 lb dog was killed by a deer and a 14 year old in a nearby town was attacked by a Coyote. I need firearms to protect my family, and me and my fellow rural citizens should not have big city folks telling us how we should live.

I also have seen around the world what happens to people who don't have the means to defend themselves and their families when government fails. At the least they are taken advantage of, in the worst they are slaughtered. Don't think it applies to us here in the land of plenty? Civilization is a thin veneer, and it doesn't take much for you to be on your own. Witness LA after Rodney King, or more seriously New Orleans - I was deployed there after the storm, and the only property owners who weren't robbed were the ones who had "will shoot trespassers" signs on their laws. Even some of the police were robbing people's houses there.

By moving on gun control so early in Obama's administration, the liberal members of the Democratic party are confirming the worst fears of gun owners, validating the fear-mongering of the right and costing him good will when this country needs it the most. Obama and the Dems should leave this issue alone until we are out of crisis and then we can bloody each other.

UPDATE: Follow coverage of this here, and consider joining the NRA today. Active Duty Servicemembers can join for free.

UPDATE: For folks that don't read the comments, please read CI Roller's response to this post.

Obama's "Taxing" Problem

2009-02-05T23:14:00.003-07:00

Just why is it that so many Democrats, who have no problem telling us plebians that we should be happy "sharing the wealth", seem to have so many problems paying their own taxes? Discuss.

There's lots of threads in ole Duder's head, man

2009-01-28T21:42:00.007-07:00

At the risk of being totally stream of conscious, I'll try to give an update. I am still in what is called a "Warrior Transition Unit", which has grown to the size of a battalion while I've been here. "Warrior Transition" in the bizarre politically correct speech of any Federal Government agency is the Army's way of referring to Soldiers who are wounded and injured and may not be able to do what they used to be able to do.

I myself am doing pretty well, although I have had a minor set back on the shoulder. That said I am still tracking to be at 90% six months out of surgery for something I was told could take 12 months. So in addition to regular physical therapy (aside: physical therapists are some sadistic SOBs, it should be called Pain and Torture), and general working out I have been working on finding employment once I am released.

What fucking timing you say? Yeah the economy is a little shitting to be looking for work, which is why I have several COAs (Course of Action) running at the same time - looking for professional civilian work, looking for contract intel work locally (which there is a fair amount of where I live), and keeping the recruiters who deal in contract work overseas on the hook as a fall back plan. There is some good money still to be made in Iraq, especially with my background, but really I am not up for that.

I have also been trying (spectacularly unsuccessfully I might add) to learn how to type, teach myself Spanish, trying to forget Arabic, reading all the books I've bought and never got to read, catching up on what is going on in business and IT (my civilian profession) and studying for a 4 hour certification exam.

That's how I cope I guess, always have had to be busy. It's how I dealt with Iraq - work, work, work. And it's why Bosnia was such a tough deployment for me at first not enough to do (boy did that change, but that's another story, only Widge and some asshole I won't mention know much of it)

The last thing I have been trying to grapple with is, as the Clash said so eloquently "Should I stay or should I go now..."

I have been on Stoploss (don't feel sorry for me, I knew damn well that would happen, as should every service member who isn't on their first enlistment) since November of 2007 (say it ain't so!), so if I do nothing I will be out of the Guard when my terminal leave is over. Originally, I had no thought of staying in after I got back, but that was before greedy bankers ate my my 401(k) (which I think is now a 124(f)) so the Guard retirement looks a lot better, especially now that deployment time can be used to draw pay earlier. There also is the matter of my Naval Reserve Commission, which the Navy screwed me on when I refused to puss out of my deployment to Iraq, the details of which is probably another post. I have thought about going to my Congressmen to fight to have it reinstated, but then who probably end up working for the same asses that fucked me over in the first place. A lot depends on what happens on the job front, although my family wants me out no matter what, I have to make sure we have health coverage, and I only have 6 years to get a retirement, so I have to be practical.

So that's whats up. Pretty normal and boring really. I have been able to see a few buddies now and then, and that is always good. We had a great Regimental Dinner a few months back, and all I can say is getting a hotel room was a good call. The picture to the right is pretty much how I remember it. My buddy "Joe" is back from Asscrackistan, and I think my friends in Kosovo will back soon.

That's all that's fit to print, maybe I'll write some war stories soon. Or maybe not.

Come Clean you KBR bastards

2009-01-08T20:21:00.001-07:00

This week reports surfaced that KBR, a military-contracting firm, may have unnecessarily put American troops in harm’s way. Today, I took a stand with Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans of America (IAVA) in calling for accountability.

Please take a minute to do the same.

Visit www.ComeCleanKBR.com, and tell KBR to come clean.

Pass it on.

Holiday Cards Humor

2008-12-14T23:45:00.001-07:00

Some folks might find this post offensive, if you are the sensitive type then click here. If you choose to read this and get pissed off, I don't want to hear it. *grimace*

So, both times I've been deployed overseas, around the Holidays we'd get all these great kids cards from some of the schools back home. They really are awesome, and, well, no one can really articulate why, but these cards really touch most Soldiers (except for a few cold, heartless fucks). It is something about the little stick figures, the smiling sun, and the Army tanks running over terrorists. It just touches a Soldier's heart. Ehhm, getting a little choked up.....

So anyhow, last Christmas, I got a stack of these, and set them out for the guys to look thru before I was going to put them on the wall. A few hours later, I hear this commotion in the team room, and everyone was looking at one card and laughing hard. Some joker had stuck the following card in the pack.

Front Page
Inside Card

Now remember, we were an all-male unit on an all-male base. And yes with no women around the humor was sophomoric, banal, and crude. Everyone got a good damn laugh.

Secret Squirrel

2008-11-24T14:42:00.004-07:00

Anyone who has worked in or around Military Intellignce has heard the term "Secret Squirrel", often something along the lines of - oh never mind them, they're doing that Secret Squirrel stuff. I never thought too much about it's origin, but when I was searching online for this shirt, I got back a link to this video. I had a good laugh.

Overlooked Deployment Benefits

2008-11-19T09:33:00.003-07:00

As is my normal routine at this time of year, I have begun planning for my tax return and looking at end of year tax moves. In the process of reviewing tax changes that have occurred since I deployed, I realized that there are a number of benefits related to the "tax free income" aspect of being in a Combat Exclusion Zone. This is something they do not brief us on as we redeploy, and it is something I think troops should at least be aware of.

If you are or have been deployed for a good portion of 2008, chances are you may well qualify for several of these tax goodies - check the IRS page for military members.

One item I would like to highlight here, which is not addressed (as far as I could see) is the Savers Credit. It is not really a military benefit per se, but it is a way to get Uncle Sam to pay half of your contribution to your IRA or Roth IRA. As long as your taxable income is below $15,500 for single Soldiers or $31,000 married filing jointly (2007's limit) you can get a tax credit for 50% of your contribution to an IRA, which is much better than what most employers are offering these days. These limits are normally too low for anyone over E2, but being deployed can quickly change that. You can still get some credit up until your income hits $26,000 single or $52,000 married. A lot of deployed Soldiers end up saving a lot and blowing it on a bike or a car - consider taking 2,000 to 4,000 of that and putting it in an IRA. On tax day you would then get half of that back in your tax return (assuming you don't owe taxes for other reasons.) Plus with the stock market down so much, you probably are getting a deal.
Disclaimer: I am no tax professional and this is not tax advice. Do your own research at IRS.gov

Happy Veterans Day

2008-11-11T22:03:00.002-07:00

To all my current and former Brothers and Sisters at Arms, I hope you all had a happy Veterans Day. Hopefully you got to spend it with those you love or doing something you enjoy.

B, thanks for the text.

Relaxed lifestyles show Baghdad extremists waning

2008-10-29T12:51:00.004-06:00

Why isn't good news from Iraq getting more coverage. Well of course good news is no news. And all those who said the surge would fail, don't want that brought up right as it appears they are about to take power of two branches of the government. At least this election will be over soon, then maybe we can go back to paying more attention to sports than foreign affairs.

The decision by some women to shun the Islamic head cover, or hijab, is just one of the signs that Baghdad residents are growing increasingly confident in the past year's security gains.

As for me, my water heater just went, so Barack and John - my vote is up for bid, whoever deposits more in my PayPal account will get my vote. I am sure the cost of all the RoboCalls and mailings to my house should just about cover a new water heater.

Update

2008-10-17T11:32:00.004-06:00

So I guess I suck as a blogger now that I am home, but the truth is the weather has been awesome, and I have been spending a lot of time 1) doing physical therapy 2) catching up on over a year of home projects and fixes. I am doing well and out of the sling, and gaining range of motion and strength little by little.

I haven't really been "energized" by the campaigns and am considering offering to allow the candidates to bid for my vote on eBay to help pay the bills.

As for the situation in the markets, I think The Economist gets it right.

Maybe more later?

Shameless Plug for Scouts

2008-09-05T10:49:00.008-06:00

My son is in Scouts and selling popcorn to help raise money for his Pack, and one of the options they have is to donate popcorn to Troops overseas. I thought that might appeal to some of my readers, and the kids would benefit from it too. These guys were great support while we were deployed and sent letters and homemade treats they baked as a Pack. They also wrote a letter to a Scout Pack formed in the Green Zone, which I thought was pretty cool and helped bring home the international aspect of Scouting to the kids here.

So, if you're interested click the image above, or here to support Scouting and send some popcorn to Troops downrange. Use Order Key: TEN3SR6

Vets - Sign IAVA's Open Letter

2008-08-29T09:19:00.006-06:00

Fellow Iraq veterans, and veterans of Afganistan, I am joining my good budy "D" in calling for you to join IAVA, a non-partisan group that speaks up for the unique needs of the newest veterans. Non-vets and vets from other eras can join as supporters too.

Also, I just signed IAVA's open letter to the Senators Barack Obama and John McCain. Several IAVA Member Veterans are attending both the Republican and Democratic National Convention to make sure that veterans' issues stay at the top of the agenda for the next President.

Can you please take a minute and sign the open letter to both candidates, asking them to make veterans' issues a priority in their administration? You can find out the top 10 improvements that the next President can make for veterans, and sign the open letter.

Thanks!

Grumpy Recommends: Hatch Gloves

2008-08-27T10:09:00.007-06:00

I am going to try out a new feature on this Blog "Grumpy Recommends", so let me know if this is useful for anyone.

Hatch Operator™ HK Gloves
SOG-HK 300/350/400

Before I deployed to Iraq, I looked at every tactical glove out on the market, but couldn't find what I was looking for. I needed a durable, functional glove, that would provide protection and comfort. We were often scrambling in and out of vehicles, and buildings, and even back in training my hands were getting hammered. But breathablity and comfort was as much of an issue - most gloves I tried made my hands sweat too much.

I found the Hatch gloves to be a perfect balance, with protection provided by tough materials where needed - on the palm and knuckles, and moisture-wicking materials everywhere else. I also found the short cut of the glove very comfortable when driving. I just could not stand wearing gloves that rode up the arm. These gloves were excellent for handling hot weapons also. I never went on a mission without these.

If you have a Soldier or Marine going downrange who will be outside the wire, these make an excellent gift. They also make good "Gucci Gear", as we called it, for REMFs and others who like to dress the part [;)

Owie

2008-08-20T11:30:00.004-06:00

Just a quick update to let folks know my surgery went fine, and I am being treated extremely well here. It turned out when they got in there that it wasn’t the bicep tendon after all, but the labrum. The surgeon said it was pretty bad and a good thing I got it taken care of. It is awfully painful right now, but they tell me I will be out of a sling in 4 to 6 weeks, and should be 90% in 5 to 6 months.

Ghost of Babylon, part Wahed

2008-08-14T20:18:00.007-06:00

The story of how I hurt my shoulder, the reason for my still being on active duty, starts with an attempt on an Iraqi General's life. The commander of our Iraqi partner force had been putting pressure on JAM (aka Mahdi Militia, Mahdi Army) and other militias in the Province we operated in, and doing it in a very public way. This commander was very conscious of his public profile and was often able to get his unit featured on the local Iraqi media. Of course, being a General means having a large ego, and so the media coverage often centered on him. This earned him the respect of our PA people, but the disdain of some of his officers, but it particularly made him a symbolic target of JAM. The General, our Commander called him “Omar Sharif”, had been the target of several assassination attempts, including one EFP attack against his convoy blamed on shithead “A”, who live in a small, isolated, hard to access village south of the city.

So shithead “A” was on our list of people we needed to talk to. The problem was the guy was a like a ghost, we got plenty of reports on him – helped by the wanted posters plastered all over town, but he always just got away. We had attempted several raids of his home, hauling in quite a bit of propaganda, but nothing really significant (well, other than his brother). Like many of these small Iraqi villages, it is hard to get into them without word getting thru the village that we were coming. “Early Warning” we called it, and this bastard apparently had plenty of it. Speed was one way to defeat this, and man did we push those war wagons sometimes (see Runnin’ and Gunin’), but this guy seemed to have it all figured out. He lived deep in the village, his house was only accessible by canal road. If you haven’t driven on these, well, you don’t ever want too. First off, they’re made of piled dirt so they aren’t stable, second usually there is a drop off into a canal on one or both sides of the road (hence canal road), third, they are elevated, so you make an easy target, and last they are barely ( and not sometimes not) wide enough for a HMMWV to fit on. All making for a white-knuckle ride for the driver (that was usually me.) Oh, and just to make it interesting, he built a mosque on his property right next to the house, which meant we had to treat it as a sensitive site and get higher levels of approval and scrutiny to proceed.

As an aside, JAM especially made good use of our ridiculous restriction on entering mosques. I know it sounds good back here in the States, the US Army being “culturally sensitive” and all, but it isn’t like home. Mosques (in my experience in the Shia area of Iraq)* aren’t neutral like churches are at home. There were pro-government mosques, pro-SCIRI mosques and pro-JAM mosques among others. JAM used their mosques to cache weapons, conduct meetings, training (to include EFP manufacture) and plan operations. Of course, we were Soldiers so we followed orders, but sometimes it is hard to keep “the big fucking picture” in mind when you are getting mortared with munitions stored at the mosque. To make matters worse, and it really shows JAM’s organization and sophistication, they would have all their offices declared as “religious sites” by building a small mosque on the property, or dedicating one room in the building to prayer. (BTW, we know there were weapons cached in those places, because the Iraqi authorities finally raided them in the spring, during all the fighting that followed the Battle of Basrah. But that's all another story.)

Then if even the Iraqi forces entered the building, even with a proper search warrant, they would scream to the press that the “American puppets were violating our religions sites.” You can’t expect the average villager to know better. I have to say I grew to respect JAMs sophisticated use of both Iraqi and Western media, and there was virtually no way for us to stop or counter it. That was all in the hands of the Iraqi government and their forces.
Ah, well, I’ve gotten way off topic, I’ll get back to my story next post [;)

*disclaimer: like all opinions expressed in this blog, they are author's opinions, based on his experience in a specific part of Iraq during a specific period of time. They should not lead the reader to make generalizations.

Georgia turns to Blogger

2008-08-12T08:13:00.005-06:00

Here's one for the blogging books. From the onset of fighting between Russia and Georgia, Georgian servers have been under sustained attacks from abroad. Mainy of their website were taken down or defaced. This is a capability the Russians (and the Chinese) are famous for developing - Chinese and Russian government hackers are suspected to routinely probe our own computer networks for weakness to be exploited in time of conflict. Although it certainly could just be hackers acting on their own.

But here's where it get's interesting, unable to fight off the attacks, the Georgian Ministry of Foreign Affairs has started a blog right here on Blogger. This effectively outsource's their computer defence to Google. Blogger has hosted many blogs hostile to the US, but we aren't about to do anything about it. Russia, China or some of our other adversaries might not be willing to look the other way. Or, what if in a future extremist government under seige uses Blogger to maintain a web presence to futher genocidal goals. Or incite violence. Something for Google to ponder, like all technologies, Blogger may be used in ways unforeseen by its makers.

UPDATE: The NYT has a fascinating piece on the cyberattack - Before the Gunfire, Cyberattacks. Apparently, the cyberattacks began well before the shooting, raising the possibility that the fighting was either foreseen, or perhaps provoked by Russia itself.

According to Internet technical experts, it was the first time a known cyberattack had coincided with a shooting war.

But it will likely not be the last, said Bill Woodcock, the research director of the Packet Clearing House, a nonprofit organization that tracks Internet traffic. He said cyberattacks are so inexpensive and easy to mount, with few fingerprints, they will almost certainly remain a feature of modern warfare.

“It costs about 4 cents per machine,” Mr. Woodcock said. “You could fund an entire cyberwarfare campaign for the cost of replacing a tank tread, so you would be foolish not to.”

Memories of Babylon

2008-08-09T23:30:00.000-06:00

Well, based on yourfeedback feedback, I will continue to write. I think I will start with the story of how I hurt my shoulder, which may take a couple of posts to complete. In the meantime, this is a little collage I had put together in the last days of our deployment, but never managed to post it.

Speaking of last days in Iraq, I remember seeing a bus full of Georgian Soldiers, who had deployed to Iraq to cover down on an area the Poles had pulled out of. They are all apparently leaving Iraq, as they are needed back home. God speed to them as they go to battle the Russians. Seems to me the Georgians overplayed their hand, hopefully this doesn't escalate out of control, as it could have seriously negative effects on oil supplies that are shipped thru the region.

Pentagon officials said late on Friday that Georgia had requested assistance in airlifting home the approximately 2,000 Georgian troops now in Iraq.

For some reason, it makes me think of when I was first in, they still had posters up in the barracks of "Ivan" - the ubiquitous Soviet Soldier. "Ivan is ready are You?" they would read, along with a picture of some buff Spetsnaz commando. Yeah, I'm getting old, it's hard to remember now, but a lot of people really expected war with the Red Menace.

Thanks everyone for the feedback, and I'll hope to get something interesting up this week.

Wadda You Lookin' at?

2008-08-07T13:23:00.003-06:00

I'll be going in for surgery in a little over a week, and am trying to decide if I want to keep up the blogging thing. So, I would like to hear from you, my readers, if you are interested in me keeping this blog up and secondly what you would be most interested in reading about.

Please take my survey and help me decide whether and wither this blog.

Silly Fun with Google Analytics

2008-07-31T19:52:00.015-06:00

I've been running Google Analytics on my blog since I started, and today I decided out of boredom to take a look at the numbers for the entirety of my blog. What is Google Analytics? It is a software tool that allows you to put a snippet of code on your blog so you can then track your Internet traffic - how many people are reading your posts, which are more popular, how people are finding you. All useful things to know when you are trying to drive traffic to your site. I had used it before on a few commercial ventures and was happy with it, and it's free, which is important when using it for a non-money maker like a blog. Anyway, I thought the results were interesting enough to post.

Top 10 Countries

United States
United Kingdom
Germany
Canada
Kuwait
Finland
Australia
Iraq
Brazil
Italy

Overall, I had visitors from 90 different countries, and it's no surprise the US and UK would be first or that other major English speaking countries would be on the list. Germany, Kuwait, Italy and Iraq make some sense too since there are US troops there, but Finland and Brazil were a definite surprise. If you are a reader from those countries I would love to hear what your interest is/was (sgtgrumpy "at" gmail.com)

Top 10 Referrers

mudvillegazette.com (really no surprise there)
thisfuckingwar.blogspot.com
thunderrun.blogspot.com
hoperadio.blogspot.com
milblogging.com
ltnixonrants.blogspot.com
thisainthell.us
ci-roller.blogspot.com
valleygirl71.blogspot.com - sadly no longer blogging
del.icio.us

Blogging etiquette dictates I get links up to these folks pronto! Interestingly, I also got a large number of referrals from Google images searches in the US and UK, hmmm, is someone trying to get a look at the Grump?

Top 10 Search Terms

Of course number one was some version of Sergeant Grumpy ( different versions were registered)
jane hernishin (an active blog commentator)
inshallah
shitpond (a result of my Steaming Bowl of Suck, part 1, part II and part III posts)
sergeant jump
miss bosnia / miss bosnia 2008
texan cheerleaders (thanks again Hope [;)
whump there it is
dead mouse in car (WTF?)
operations for dummies (one of the funniest items of military humor last year)

Overall, the different versions of Sergeant Grumpy accounted for vast majority of search referrals, but heh, the other 9 are interesting, no?

Other Random Facts

Average time on site: 1:21
20% of my readers use the Firefox browser
6.8% of Grumpy readers get to my site over dial-up
My blog's busiest day was January 14th, 2008, which was shortly after my Steaming Bowl of Suck, part 1 post
My blog's busiest month was April 2008, which coincided with the Battle of Basra.

So there you have it, if any other mil-bloggers want access to similar trivia for their own site, go on over to Google Analytics and sign up. If you need help shoot me an email (sgtgrumpy "at" gmail.com) Milbloggers get free grumpy tech support, all others are $120/hr.

Justice for Bosnia?

2008-07-29T09:19:00.004-06:00

After years on the run, the former leader of the Bosnian Serbs, Radovan Karadzic, was captured in Serbia last week. This man played a big role in stoking the fires of hatred and genocide in Bosnia Herzegovina. While all sides in this terrible three way civil war descended into the depths of human cruelty, Karadzic's forces led the way and were responsible for some of the most gruesome acts of inhumanity since WWII, and rival the behaviour of Al Qaeda in Iraq. This includes the round up and murder of 8,000 men and boys in Srebrenica in July 1995, and the vicious shelling campaign against Sarajevo (66 people were killed and 200 wounded in just one day, documented here.)

It is particularly gratifying for me to see this bastard caught - catching him was one of our major "projects" in Bosnia, as "D" also discusses. Of course we did not, but we had several interesting meetings with people close to him. And being based out of Tuzla for part of my tour, I also heard many stories of terror and loss from the Muslims who lived in that area. The Serbs were not just fighting a war, they were terrorizing and brutalizing everyone in their path.

So we worked hard, but never caught him, always like a ghost he was, a rumor of his presence, but NATO was never fast enough. And then of course there must have been the obvious support from his former inner circle, and the rumors of the French leaking warnings to him and his crony in death, Radko Mladic. But the most likely was always the most obvious - he was said to be hiding in Serbia where he enjoyed support of the security services, and there were no foreign troops.

So what? Well there are several lessons that should be drawn from Bosnia. Of course, one of the lessons of Bosnia is that the U.N. is incompetent at stopping violence of any sort - it was only the threat of use of American force (by Bill Clinton) that stopped the fighting Bosnia and the actual use of force against Serbia that stopped the attacks in Kosovo. One of the bitter ironies of the war is that Srebrenica was "protected" by the U.N. as a "Safe Zone", thereby making it an UN Safe Zone. Truly, unsafe. The U.N. forces protected the civilians by standing by as the city was overrun, and helping organizing the bus loading. U.N. troops also played a vital role as human shields to protect against NATO (meaning American) air raids against Serb positions.

I am not saying the U.N. is useless mind you, the U.N. has successfully played an important role once fighting has been stopped but hopes that the U.N. could stop the genocide in say, Darfur, are misplaced. Sometimes the use of force is the only answer, and the U.N. is not the instrument for that. The Bosnian Serbs and the Darfur government both illustrate the fact that brutal regimes pay no heed to Western sit-ins, protests, lectures, boycotts, etc. While it may be hard to accept for some people who lived under the Western security blanket, some people cannot be reasoned with, some cultures only respect strength and force. It is not what we desire for the world, but it is still the world we live in.

Another lesson, which was reinforced for me during my tour in New Orleans, is that civilization is a thin veneer, and people are still a short step from a uncontrollable mob. Yugolsavia was, after-all, a model of Socialist success, an example held up by people like Ted Kennedy, John Kerry, and other Communist apologizers. Bosnia especially was the most ethically integrated part of Yugoslavia, with many intermarriages and multi-ethnic communities. New Orleans may well have been less ethnically integrated than Yugoslavia, but the rampant looting in an American city illustrates that even here, you must be prepared to defend your person and your property.

For those interested in learning more, here are a few recommendations that can help you understand. I also highly recommend the BBC website on Bosnia and it's personalities.

Help Soldier's Angels help Soldiers

2008-07-21T13:46:00.013-06:00

You may have heard over at Blackfive that Soldier's Angels needs some help. These good folks provide some amazing support to Soldiers and their families in need. Certainly, if you can the best way to support them is to give direct. However, for those who may recall, Sergeant Grumpy also will donate 100% of commissions earned as a referral to Amazon to Soldier's Angels as well.

Now while I do not want to encourage unnecessary shopping - if you are going to buy something from Amazon anyway, please consider shopping for it through this blog, and know that your shopping will do some good.

Looking for recommendations for Warriors you know? Shop Sergeant Grumpy's Warrior store and commission there also support Soldier's Angels.

Waiting...

2008-07-11T12:05:00.003-06:00

So it looks like I will be having surgery to repair a tear on my bicep tendon. I still don't have a surgery date, so I still haven't been able to plan some leave to take the family somewhere before school starts back up. Hopefully that will get squared away soon, in the meantime I have been well treated - there are an amazing amount of resources dedicated at demobing Soldiers who are injured in some ways. I am sure that this is because no one wants a Congressional inquiry after what happened at Walter Reed. I am also not sure if the program just happens to be good at this post, or if this is Army wide. I am grateful for it right now though. The biggest issue right now is figuring out how to keep my mind occupied now that I won't be returning to my civilian work and I have no mission to focus on. The "just being glad to be home" phase is over and I need something to do, we'll see.

That said I don't seem to have a lot to write about, although there are a few stories I have left to tell, I have not been motivated to sit and write. So for now I am just enjoying the mountain views, working out and trying to catch up on some non-military reading.

Slow road home

2008-06-25T11:21:00.002-06:00

Not sure if anyone is still following this, but....

I am still in the process of trying to get off active duty and back home to real life. The Army is sure taking it's time making sure we are healthy and sane enough to go home, but at least I am in my own State now. I have a few minor injuries I am waiting on Big Army to decide what they are going to do about, then I have to decide what I want to do when I grow up. Hah hah.

I have a couple of posts yet to finish writing, hopefully I will get those out in the next week or two.

Back in the US of A

2008-05-17T09:56:00.003-06:00

A quick note to let everyone know that we are back in the States. As "D" will attest, we are going thru a lot of stupidity, Army style. But the key is we are home. It is so clean and green here, and people bathe - glorious

On My Throne

2008-05-03T05:06:00.003-06:00

This the obligatory "sitting on Saddam's Throne" picture. The chair was given to Saddam by that great statesman Yasser Arafat. Hopefully this is my last post from Iraq. MTF.

Medics lead the way

2008-04-30T04:13:00.002-06:00

The NY Times has a touching slide show about a medical clinic run to help the people of Sadr city. There are hundreds of great stories of Army Medics and Doctors who have treated Iraqis with compassion and kindness that never get told. At least here is one.

An Iraqi boy who was shot by insurgents while walking to a bakery is brought in to the clinic for treatment. According to eye witnesses the attackers shot seven children, killing four.

Mahdi Murderers.

When a young child who was shot or a wife who was badly burned is treated, all the vapid debate in Washington, all the stupid heated arguments by the uninformed on the left and the right, all that goes away. You can just be proud we were able to help someone, to know as much as the insurgents realize we are fierce in combat, that the people know we are not monsters, but someone you can turn to for help. Military medics have done tremendous amounts of work in this shithole to build goodwill amoung the Iraqis. Hopefully it pays off.

Yes, we are rude pricks

2008-04-27T04:02:00.006-06:00

We were riding around the other day, touring our new home and looking at all of Saddam's old Palaces. We would stop and like a bunch of tourist get out and take pictures. At one point we (apparently) walked right into the yard of a bunch of Soldiers who live in one of the little houses on the water. Every building of the former regime has been converted into living quarters or offices, or headquarters complex. Anyway, the Soldiers living there came out to see what the hell we were doing. "R", ever the smart ass says:

Oh, don't worry, we're just taking pictures, we've actually been in Iraq for our deployment, we've never seen this shit.

I hadn't really thought about it before, but we practically lived outside the wire, we worked with Iraqis a lot, drove around, talked to locals, ate outside the chow-hall (okay, kitchen, we didn't have a chow hall). It was dirty and smelly and a little dangerous a few times, but it was real. I can't imagine what doing 12 to 15 months of living on one of these huge bases, looking a t-walls and dust must do to your mental state. I've only been here a week-ish and I am depressed. You would spend a year plus here, and really know nothing about Iraq except it is hot in the summer, and people shoot rockets and mortars at you.

(if you can tell which Palace I decided to post, I'll buy you a beer...unless I don't like you)

Managing Deployment Stress

2008-04-26T02:02:00.004-06:00

I meant to write about this topic for some time, but always had something better to write, or was not feeling like writing anything. Before I get into this, I want to share some of the things that can cause deployment stress, just to give ya'll an idea. Grumpy may or may not have experienced any of these.

Grumpy's semi-random list of stress inducing crap, in rough order of stress-induction:

Actual combat
Being shot at randomly
Being forced to endure PowerPoint presentations that are 95% fluff
Being mortared
General Order #1 (or as I call it G.O. # Fuuuuuuuuuuunn!)
Watching your vehicle begin to roll into a ditch in slow motion
Lack of accountability for failure or poor performance
Listening to some POS try to take credit for everything done by others
Having to listen to another person explain why they are just a farmer and we got it all wrong
Whiny terps who make $175,000 and bitch if they work more than 4 hours a day
Uniform regulations
Anyone who answers every question with "Ani?"
Listening to REMFs who sit around reading regs trying to find a way to qualify for another medal
Inability to fire shitbags and deadwood
Sergeants Major
Officers
Privates

Hey what do you want, I'm Grumpy afterall.

It is impossible to do much about any of these things, so one must find ways to manage the stress they bring about. Soldiers have always had some tried and true ways to do this:

Fighting
Drinking
Having Sex
Working out
Humor

The first is generally bad for team cohesion (but not always), and, unbelievably to many who have never served, the military in it's infinite wisdom has outlawed the second two, to include pornography (see General Order #1 above, I may write more about the stupidity of this, but that's a whole 'nuther post). That really only leaves working out and humor. Well, some would argue video games, which many people play to escape, but I do not agree.

Exercise

This is too easy to skip in the go-go world of 16 hour days, 7 days a week, but it is essential to find the time. And although I am guilt of having missed my routine when "business" was good, I quickly got back on it. Some guys work out everyday, more disciplined than me I guess. There were even a few who worked out twice a day, but the key is to find timing and a routine that works for you, but mainly to burn off stress. I used to like to run, but had hurt my ankle and foot in Ft XXXXX before deploying. Which took time to heal because of all my LaCrosse and Football injuries from school (or maybe it's just that I am getting old? -- nah.) Inspired by Tin/Katana I tried using the Elliptical and found that to be very effective without pounding my knees and causing my ankle to swell (mortars attacks were doing a fine job of that!)

Humor

This would be CI Roller Dude's top advice, and personally, as grumpy as I may be I always try to find a way to laugh at our situation. There are a couple of great Combat Comedians in my unit, notably "B". But "D" is certainly one of the best, and that was one of the best things about my CA Guard unit - there were lots of us with twisted senses of humor. We've played many a practical joke on each other.

So, those are my big two, hard to say which is more important than the other to making it out of here sane. If anyone has a good deployment practical joke story, I would love to hear it.

New Map of Iraq

2008-04-23T07:16:00.003-06:00

Finally, here is a map of Iraq that makes sense.

Quick update here is that we have relocated somewhere where we wait before catching the freedom bird to Kuwait, where we will promptly wait again. And that is how it goes in Army these days, we go from busting-your-ass busy to nothing to do. I don't think I will be posting much more, as I shouldn't have to many stories of interest - "there we were building our pallets, when out of no where one of the Conticos flew off and hit Johnson in the head..." Of course there is a lot idiocy around here, and far to many REMFs who have nothing better to do than look for uniform violations on troops returning for combat. I hate those people, and it is a one more reason I won't stay in the Guard - yes I am talking about all you Master Sergeants and Sergeants Major who persist in harassing people for stupid shit. And no I wasn't the target, but some of my buddies have been constantly harassed for things that are part of our units uniform policy. But apparently here in the rear (meaning one of the giant bases near Baghdaddy) you might as well be at Fort XXXXXXXX. LT Nixon, I don't know how you put up with it. It is like we've trained all these support Soldiers to be a bunch of busy bodies - everyone walks around in fear. I could go on for ever, but ....

I will of course post once I am safely in the States. I may post some pictures if I feel like it. If you really want to hear from me, I suggest e-mail.

Hope you've all enjoyed the posts, and thanks for the support and humor.

Just a Picture

2008-04-13T08:53:00.003-06:00

What your not hearing

2008-04-11T02:30:00.004-06:00

As I said in an earlier post, things here are both better and worse than what is being reported. I say that because, while things were/are, in my opinion much worse in Basrah than the media reports (probably because they won't go down there and don't know.), things in other parts of southern Iraq are better than reported. If they are reported at all.

In several other southern Iraqi cities, the Iraqi Army, and the lesser known ISWAT units, kicked JAM's ass. In at least one town they pretty much eradicated JAM and destroyed the OMS office (the political front for JAM) where weapons were cached. That success is due to the dedicated training provided these forces by their US counterparts. I know our guys did a great job, and our "top ten" board was almost cleaned off.

While it is accepted in US media that the recent clash was a victory for Sadr, alternative analysis concludes that he is left much more isolated, both from a people tired of fighting, and from the political process. And possible from the militia itself too. This does not mean there will be more stability, it could lead to more fighting if he is weakened. Only time, not newscasters and pundits, will tell.

The Long War Journal hits on this with Ayatollah Sistani on the Mahdi Army

The move caused panic inside the Sadrist movement as their political isolation became apparent. "We, the Sadrists, are in a predicament," Hassan al Rubaie, a Sadrist member of parliament said the day the Political Council for National Security announced the plan. "Our political isolation was very clear and real during the meeting."

I am certainly not trying to cheerlead, there is a lot to be disappointed about in the recent fighting, but there needs to be better balance in reporting. As for specifics, I can't provide them here, you'll need to do your own digging. (Or buy me several rounds of Tequila when I'm home [;)

Going Offline Soon

2008-04-10T14:30:00.002-06:00

I will be losing my internet access for a while. For how long I don't know, but don't want people to worry. I will try to post a few more times, not sure how long I'll be off.

Words from the past

2008-04-08T15:10:00.004-06:00

I don't know much about the debates in Washington, but I know more about the fighting in Basrah than anyone other than the men in my unit. And whatever the "truth" may be, I can say that I have completely changed my view on this occupation. while there are a great many wonderful Iraqis, many partiotic men whom I have fought side by side with, what has happened in Basrah is ..... a debacle? No not sure what the words are. Embarassing for sure.
But that is not the point of this post. I want to thank my Mom for sending me something my Grandfather carried with him during WWII. From his mother, I'll bet she never imagined her great grandson would be carrying it through IED attacks, rocket and mortar attacks, and ambushes in Iraq. But I am grateful to have it, for while I am not all that religious, I have prayed a great deal here, especially during the Battle o' Basrah and the trip "home". And I have never been without this card.

My Grandfather has always been my hero, what I aspire to be as a man. That I carry the same "stella matutina" he did at War is a greater honor than being here is. On the back are the words of my great-grandmother

I pray for your safety every day. I hope God takes care of you and all the boys. Mom.

All I have left to do here is get the hell outta here.

Short Update

2008-04-05T17:11:00.003-06:00

Heya hi all, Grump's still kickin' but I have been working nearly non-stop up until last night. Me and my little band were rapidly deployed to another part of the country and have been neck deep in it. For now things have quieted down, and everyone is getting some much needed rest.

For those trying to follow for home, forget it - you aren't getting much of the truth. Things are both better and much worse than what's on the news. I'll say for my part all I care about right now is that all my buddies get home to their families safe.

Please don't send anymore care packages - right now we aren't there to receive them, and by the time we do get back to camp we may be moving again. More later on that.

I'll try to keep posting, but right now I am pretty much spent.

A good days work

2008-03-22T15:27:00.001-06:00

I love it when a hunch pays off. For today, I am not grumpy. Woot. Woot!

This and that

2008-03-20T13:17:00.005-06:00

So yeah, it has been a while since my last update. I have been both busy and unmotivated to blog much (or maybe I've been drunk the whole time !?), plus have not had much interesting to write, although I have had several interesting things happen. I'm just not really able to write about them.

All in all things are okay, mostly life is sort of like the movie ground hog day. With no days off to mark the weeks, one week, then one month, bleeds into another. Muqtada al-Sadr's extension of the freeze was complicated recently with a "clarification" that is was not against the cease fire for JAM members to "defend themselves." This has resulted in the militia being seen back on the street around their political offices (imagine if there was a Republican/Democrat Militia) and mosques. Some more radical members have taken self-defence to mean attacking US forces in retribution for the arrest of wanted militia members. So there has been a mild uptick in attacks in our AO, although in perspective it is still really low compared to 2005/2006.

There have been a few personnel changes, but that is always bound to happen on any deployment. And we've had some turmoil with our partner force, but for the most part they are a good bunch of men. But their concept of personal space and comfort touching and holding hands is most uncomfortable for Americans.

For any friends or family reading this in the news - Panel probes troops' electrocution deaths in Iraq - don't worry about us here. The US Navy Seabees checked the wiring on our entire base to make sure we didn't have any wiring issues.

And of course there are the daily frustrations of an American War, with all the bureaucracy, difficultly sharing information, politics and politically driven constraints. We joke that this is like some ridiculous game of tag, where if the fucks can get inside a political office or mosque, they can yell "base" and we can't get them. But I have to trust the constraints are there for Bigger Reasons, made by people who get the Big Picture. It sure sucks for us and the PBI, though.

Of course, I've got to thank everyone who continues to support us, me, and my team. The care packages we get are the envy of the other units in the area [;)

One thing I miss from Bosnia

2008-03-06T18:35:00.002-07:00

Change in the Weather

2008-03-01T16:17:00.003-07:00

I have turned on my AC today for the first time in months. The hot, it's a comin.

A largely successful Arba'een

2008-02-28T16:42:00.004-07:00

Yesterday completed an important holiday period for the Shia's of Iraq. (Well for the Shia's of the world I guess, but the holiday's impact is all here in Iraq). Arba'een (literally Arabic for the number 40) is the 40th day after Ashura and commemorates the suffering of wives and children of Husayn ibn Ali, who was murdered on Ashura in the Battle of Karbala. His wives and children were then marched across the desert to Syria by the Sunni Caliphate army and many of them perished.

The Shia in my observation* are obsessed with suffering and, as might be said in America, immerse themselves in a culture of being the victim. During Ashura they beat and cut themselves to show their devotion to Husayn and his suffering. They also have a bizarre tradition where they put their sons in a tent which is then lit on fire. All the kids are supposed to run out, but we have had to treat some poor boys who were badly burned. (As an aside, we have treated a lot of burned children and women, apparently there is something wrong with Iraqi stoves in that hot oil is always falling off them) Anyway, the relevance here is to show their devotion to Husayn and the suffering of his family many Shia walk to his shrine in Karbala. They walk from nearby Babil, and Baghdad, but also from Najaf, Basra, even I was told Kuwait and Iran. That is a serious walk, and the sight of hundreds and hundreds of these Shia, all dressed in black, walking down one whole side of the highway, which was closed off for the holiday, is indescribable. Mile after mile off to the horizon of black ninjas. Ah and the noise and the blaring mosque speakers all day long.

As you might imagine, this is a nightmare from a security perspective. It would be easy for a suicide bomber to blend in with crowd. Imagine having to shut a major metropolitan area down to vehicle traffic and protect marchers walking in from all the major highways. An impossible feat, but remarkably, the Iraqis mostly pulled this off, there were several attacks in Baghdad and one suicide bomber in northern Babil (where the Sunni/Shia line is), but it could have been much worse. And I have heard of no attacks in Karbala. We saw the Iraqi Police, Army, and paramilitary forces out on the road everyday, all day, tirelessly working to keep these marchers safe. There were even full blown security plans, operations orders, etc all prepared by the Iraqis by themselves. It was also the best example of Iraqi Army - Iraqi Police cooperation seen recently, and offers hope that these two organizations who distrust each other, but on whom the hope for this country rests, will work out their issues for the benefit of the Iraqi Nation.

*Disclaimer: I am no expert on Shia Islam and can only relate what I have been told by my Muslim friends and Iraqi colleagues.

Thought of the day

2008-02-26T16:50:00.001-07:00

"The penalty good men pay for indifference to public affairs is to be ruled by evil men."
- Plato -

And Now for Something Completely Different

2008-02-21T08:18:00.004-07:00

Okay, this is waaay off topic, but I stumbled on this while poking fun at an old friend on Facebook. This is ROTFLMAO funny - Stuff White People Like

How to spot a dumbass

2008-02-20T22:09:00.003-07:00

We had just gotten done with a mission that had taken extra long, which seems to be our specialty, and had all our vehicles lined up on the road to exfil. I was in the trail vehicle, so I could see the whole line of vehicles, and was keeping an eye on the houses to our right. Most Iraqis around here are sensible enough to not be too curious when we are out with our partner forces, but occasionally someone gets nosy, and I was worried about the locals as they were starting to wake up and word had quickly gotten around that we were in the neighborhood.

All of a sudden I see this idiot come out of his house and start yelling. The closest Iraqi points back to the house the man just came from and yelled something, probably "get back in your house dumbass". No one is supposed to approach our convoy, the insurgents in my AO aren't prone to suicide, but you still don't want someone in handgrenade range, and well, you never know.

Anyhow, not only does this idiot not go back into his house, he continues to yell, and starts to approach the Iraqi soldier. Three more soldiers pile off the nearest truck and the man is picked up and put inside the gate of his couryard, pushed and the gate is closed. OK, he should get the point.

Nope, here he comes again and he makes the big mistakes of taking a swing. Even in San Francisco I imagine it is okay for a cop to defend himself, but this is Iraqi and these Iraqis aren't going to tolerate this kind of disobedience of authority. Pretty soon the guy is getting his ass kicked, and we are almost out of the truck to stop it when they throw him back in his house. But out he comes again and now he is dragged in front of the Iraqi truck and out of view, so P runs up to make sure he isn't thrashed. This time he has a weapon pointed at him until we roll out, but the dumb ass doesn't make himself disappear, he stands there in the gate glaring at our Iraqis.

When the US leaves this place, the local criminals are in for some serious ass whooping. The only thing keeping that from happening now is all the US JAG Officers trying to cover everyones asses when comes to detainee handling, hell even the Iraqis are more afraid of all the paperwork involved in detainees than they are of combat. And they think we are complete idiots - we'll spend tens of thousands of dollars treating some murdering thug we were just trying to kill, yet we tell them we can't spare more ammo or gas so they can run operations. I know we think I shows our compassion and superior morality, but to an Arab it just makes us look weak.

Anyhow, there are lots of dumbasses here in Iraq, just like the guy in my little story. Now there are dumbasses in America too, but there are enough here to keep this place stuck in the middle ages for at least another 100 years.

Steaming Bowl of Suck, part III

2008-02-14T14:19:00.005-07:00

Ok, so the whole reason I started this post was to help explain what it means to be a Soldier. It means being able to tolerate all manners of Suck and still get the job done. It is what binds us to each other as Soldiers - that shared risk, and the knowledge that the Soldier to your left and right will endure with you, that they won't break for cover, or shirk their duty, leaving others to carry more of the load.

Now where I left of in the story we had the area secure and broke an element off to go search for an Extremist weapons cache. The rest of us continued to try to retrieve the STUCK-VEE from the shitpond. All the while it continued to rain, and the mud got worse and worse. Somehow we "acquired" a pay loader and spent some time rigging the humvee up to it, but the mud was too slick. We even tried to bulldozer the mud away to get to dry ground, but that didn't work either. Eventually, we had to give up on what we call "self-recovery" and call for help, which came in the form of a 5-ton wrecker. After many different attempts, and some shoveling by hand, we finally freed the wretched vehicle, and got everyone back to base. It took some time to clean the thing, and it still doesn't smell right to this day.

As we went thru this 13 hour ordeal, we had to rotate guys in and out of the humvees to try and get warm, as hypothermia was becoming a real risk - everyone was soaked to the bone, and it was cold. It purely sucked. And it will be a story we'll all remember years from now.

But the bright part of this story is that just when we were worried most about how we were going to keep our men warm enough, one of the Iraqis in the area opened his home to us, built a warm fire and started baking bread for us to eat. The Iraqis eat unleavened bread so he started whipping out bread fast. It was amazing - the flour he was using was the only food he had in the house, but as Arab culture dictates he would share his last scrap of it with a guest. Just amazing.

Boom stick

2008-02-10T18:12:00.000-07:00

I have had spotty internet for a while now, so even getting e-mail has been a challenge, never mind posting. But it looks like that has been fixed, so I will attempt to get caught up.

We finally had birds accompany us on mission this past week, no weather or mechanical problems. Everything went so smooth, I actually have nothing Grumpy to say about it.

We also spent time shooting, one of the fringe benefits of the Army if you enjoy it. And being in Iraq, I can go to the range anytime I have time (which is less often than I'd like) and feel like it. But last week, we fired several different sniper systems, and I got to fire the Barrett .50 sniper rifle for the first time. This thing is just awesome, and amazingly the recoil is must less than you would expect it to be for the sound it makes, but the overpressure/shock wave will rattle you. If you ever get a chance to shoot this thing, do so!

Letter from kids - does the media lie?

2008-01-31T19:13:00.000-07:00

So I should write part III, but it is 5:30 am and I am just getting done for the day, so I thought I would share this instead. A couple of California high school students who are studying about journalism, asked The Grump if I thought the media lied about current events. Here is my response. I'll get part III out this weekend unless I get a breakthrough on a few projects I am working here. By projects, I of course mean scumbags we want out of the picture.

Thank you for your letter, and your question. I am no expert on the news business, but I will give you my perspective.

Whether or not reporters tell the truth is a rather difficult question to answer. While there may be a few reporters out there who do lie to further their own careers, I think that most journalist start their careers with honorable intentions and a desire to tell the truth. And most never lie on purpose, but fail to do a good job of checking their facts. The reality is, especially in a place like Iraq, the truth is very hard to discern. And most reporters here never leave Baghdad, so anything you read in the paper was probably told to the reporter by a source, or a local Iraqi who called the reporter. And sometimes reporters simply report what other reporters wrote.

Plus there is the fact that most Western reporters do not speak the local language, and this will be true for reporting in any non-English speaking country, so all the information comes through an interpreter. The interpreter may get it wrong because they aren't very good in English, and sometimes the interpreter tells the reporter the wrong thing on purpose. Pretty messy and complicated isn't it?

While I have been here in Iraq, I have personally been involved in 2 incidents which were reported in the international media. I saw these things happen with my own eyes and yet they were reported wrong in every report I read. Not 100% wrong, but some important facts were wrong in every news article, and each news article got different things wrong.

This is of course called the Fog of War, and for good reason. I submit that no one knows what the hell is going on in Iraq - it is just too complicated, and everyone reporting information has alterior motives for their reporting, and every time in gets passed on it mutates a little. Like the telephone game on crack.

Not Part III

2008-01-28T19:40:00.000-07:00

Sometimes here in Iraq things go boom, or "boomba" as our Iraqi Jundees say.

Yes, I am overdue. Some of you even chose to use your potty-mouth words to tell me so. I could respond with a few choice Iraqi put-downs, which are very colorful, and more poetically constructed than in English. But, suffice to say I have been damn busy. Just getting done for the day now, and of course, by the time I get all my kit off and put away, vehicles ready to go, people "talked to" as 'D' calls it, and get settled down, the fucking morning call to prayer starts (yes, it is actually called the "fucking morning call to prayer", or it least it is on this side of the wall.)

All I am going to say right now is, the birds didn't fly because their computer said the weather was bad - it was a clear, star lit night........ ok going to go hit something, just realized I can't talk about this rationally right now.

Steaming Bowl of Suck, part II

2008-01-20T11:07:00.000-07:00

So back to my story. Remember now readers, that it has only rained all day only once during our entire deployment, and we have been out that whole night. And it is cold, really cold. Cold enough for it to snow in Baghdad and cold enough for us to have to worry about hypo-thermia - the senior NCOs will be keeping an eye on everyone tonight.

I saw the lead HMMWV (Humvee) start to turn right, there was a shadow on the ground right where it was turning. In the dark of night, with shadows being cast about by the Iraqi vehicle's headlights, no way to tell if you are looking a shadow or a hole in the ground. Then the Humvee started sliding right. My first thought was that my mind was not properly interpreting the light stimulating the back of my retina, I couldn't make sense of what I was seeing. Then the realization, "Oh Shit." All we could do was watch as the vehicle listed 30 degrees to the right and sank up to the window in muck.

Shortly after this we are all standing around the vehicle, with perimeter security having been set up, admiring how fucked we are. The Humvee is stuck in a black muck, the smell of which can only be experienced, but not described. It is clear this hole in the ground was been used as a waste receptacle. Being that the Iraqis believe this area to be the cradle of civilization, the shit our Humvee is stuck in may be as old as Babylon itself. And it smells like it. Bad enough to make you almost pass out.

We hook up our tow straps to two other Humvees to try to pull the thing out, but because of the rain, the ground has gone from hard-pack dirt to mud soup, and we risk getting another vehicle stuck, but we have to try. Shit won't budge. Plus there is still the mission. We decide to break into several elements - one to go hit the target, one to continue to pull security and one to try find some construction equipment...

101st Post

2008-01-19T16:52:00.000-07:00

I realized when I logged in that this is my 101st post. <sarcasm>Air Assualt, Hooo-ah!!!</sarcasm> - now I respect the 101st and have worked them, and just spent months at Campbell - they're good Troopers. But being from a real Airborne unit, I have to mock their Airborne designation, and I sure as hell don't go in for all that Hoo-ah, Hoo-ah shit.

I was thinking I would try to write Steaming Bowl of Suck, part 2, but I am too damn tired right now and I want to go call my wife. So I decided to post this - I promised I would put up a pic from our merry making. Fortunately the cameraman had a few too many, so I didn't really need to touch this up much. Now that Ashura is finally over, I think we need another bon-fire soon. I promise I will get an interesting post up soon.

Texan's Cheerleaders Love Grumpy!

2008-01-16T12:45:00.000-07:00

Well, OK, maybe they don't, but Hope got me this kick-ass signed photo of them, so there!

Cool Award

2008-01-15T10:32:00.000-07:00

Before I get back to my story, I got this award from Hope and wanted to share.

Also, I ask anyone saying prayers for me or sending good Karma my way to temporarily shift those to my buddy CI Roller Dude, who the California Guard is trying to deploy for the 3rd time in 4 1/2 years. Time for someone else to step up and do their share.

Steaming Bowl of Suck, part 1

2008-01-11T23:48:00.000-07:00

I've heard from several people that they want to hear from me more often, but I can't really write more, so I am going to steal an idea from CI Roller Dude and break this post up into two parts, maybe three if I get lazy.

I get a lot of civilians who ask me what it is like to be a Soldier, what it takes, how I handle it, and stuff like that. I think most people imagine it is like in the movies, and we are in basic training all the time or we are in a combat zone like in Blackhawk Down. It is nothing like that really. Yeah in garrison, sometimes you really know where you are, but often it is like being in any other business. Same daily routines, boring office work, coffee breaks, lunch and usually off before 5.

But that's not it, being a Soldier, or a Marine I imagine, basically it comes down to one thing - the mental strength to endure any amount of Suck, no matter how bad it is. And that is what we learn when being in the Army is like the movies - Basic, Airborne, the various bad-ass "schools", field work, combat. It is being able to ignore the pleas from your body to stop what you are doing. When it is that bad it is called The Suck. And recently, one of our missions went bad and we got a Big Steaming Bowl of Suck. (Don't worry, before I get into this, everyone made it back safe.)

We had an important mission that had been planned for a while and we were just waiting for the word to go. From the minute we left the base, there were signs we should stay home. First our Iraqi partner force was late. Then it started to rain, and our air coverage couldn't find us. Then when we were half way to the objective, the birds called in that the weather was too bad, and they were sorry, but they were pulling out. "Good luck guys" - yeah thanks for nothing! Oh, and it was fucking cold, so cold it snowed in Baghdad that night, but where we were heading it was cold, cold rain coming down.

As we got closer we sped up, and as we got into town we really had to move fast - you see here in Iraq, many of the local police act as early warning for the bad guys, and once we passed the checkpoint at the outskirts of this town, we knew there was little time before the target would flee. We hit our targets, but he had gotten away. He couldn't be too far, so we started questioning the people in the neighborhood. Soon we got a tip that he was hiding at the Police Station. What happened next is the subject of an investigation, but I thought it was amusing. I can't say more, but what is relevant to this post is it was raining much harder now, and we had been out for a while and were cold and tired, and we were all starting to come down off of the adrenaline high.

But there was still another target in town we had to hit. So wet, cold, and tired we started making our way. Now we have some of the best technology in the world at our disposal, but it ain't like on CSI or 24 - sometimes the shit just don't work. And that is usually right when you need it most. Navigation software is awesome when maps and imagery are accurate, but when they are out of date, you still end up feeling around in the dark, hoping the road ahead isn't blocked, or no longer there. This is what we were doing as we made our way, proceed down the road, keep a good interval. Stop, back up, turn. Drive forward, nope. Shit. Turn the whole convoy around, turn again. It should just be up here. Can't see anything. OK, lead vehicle, let's pull up and see if we can get a better view............

Wringing in the New Year

2008-01-06T16:24:00.000-07:00

Well the Holidaze are over and we are back in the swing of things. My ankle was almost back to 100% from the last time we got mortared, and sure as shit when we got hit recently, I twisted my ankle really bad. Every damn time, I am running to get to my gun crew and I twist my ankle on these fucking rocks that serve no purpose other than to make you lose you footing. I swear I'd like to wring the neck of whatever jackass dumped this stuff all over the compound. (Must have been the lowest bidder)

At least this time we got clearance and fired back quickly. Hard to explain why, but it is easier to take when you are able to send some HE back at the bastards. The first couple of times we couldn't get someone to release us to fire, so the word quickly got around we weren't shooting back. So we got hit more - these "insurgents" (murdering thugs) are really brave when they can't get hurt, that's why they love killing women and children, but we know where they are shooting from, so we went out and told the leaders in that area they better call us beforehand if they see anything. Maybe next time they will call in if they see something suspicious so we can have it taken care of beforehand, rather than have rounds raining in on their fields.

Of course, this being Iraq, we have been trying to get the IPs to set up checkpoints in the area, but there is always some excuse followed by an Inshallah! Getting tired of that.

So anyway, it has been back to business, and with all the political moves going on, and what with Sadr extending the ceasefire and Iran (maybe?) backing off, I guess there is more hope here in Shialand than there has been in a while. But the place is still awash in weapons and bad men. And that's where we come in, to find and remove them, before they can hurt someone. It sure ain't easy in this land ruled by rumor.

New Years was good fun, I'll have to find a picture or two I can post. We blew off some steam, even though we had a mission that very night we managed to haul ass and get back in time to ring in the New Year with Spirit(s). [;) That was like a game of cat and mouse, as soon as we hit the objective we started getting reports of IEDs getting emplaced along our return route. But this time they underestimated us and most importantly "The Dude" who navigated us back. Too much to explain, but we were ready to decompress when we got back to the base. We ended the night around a nice warm bon-fire. It was like an episode of The Tomorrow Night Club. Don't worry, our fire pit isn't observable from any higher ground.

Thanks to the Mil Supporters everywhere

2008-01-02T07:09:00.000-07:00

I want to wish everyone a belated Happy New Year. We all were very busy on New Years Eve Day, and weren't quite sure we would RTB in time to actually count-down the New Year, but in the end we did. MTF.

What I really want to post is this e-mail from a friend of mine, to Hope of Hoperadio, who is a great supporter of several deployed units. I am guessing that out of humility Hope won't post it, but I want all the great milsupporters out there to get to read this. I could never say thank you better than this:

Dear Hope.
I am a friend of SGT Grumpy and as a such have been a recipient of your generosity. you and people like you, are the reason why we do our job.

There is much said about the brotherhood of war. "we do our job because of the soldier next to us." this is true, we perform above and beyond the call because we are surrounded by those we have come to consider family. but the reason we join the military is protect our country and our way of life.

there have been times in the past several years when i have come to doubt that Americans appreciate our sacrifice. everywhere there are stickers claiming "support our troops" but that seems to be the extent of it. YOU have revitalized my faith and (dare i say) hope in what we do and why we do it.

when i returned from Afghanistan in CENSOR i was asked to address the incoming class at CENSOR State University because the schools donations in support of our mission. my speech was centered on "service." How the actions of those not in the military can contribute to our success, from the family members who pack and move often to the people who donate to humanitarian causes set up by soldiers. i would like to add to this list. You have also served our country by actively and directly supporting us, the nations military. it is not just the comfort items that you have sent, it is the sentiment and warmth behind it. to know that there are people who are willing to do more than place a sticker on there car is a HUGE moral boost and i thank you and all like you.

please share these sentiments with everyone who, like you has restored an old soldiers faith.

Operations for Dummies

2007-12-29T12:46:00.000-07:00

I wasn't going to post for a few more days, but this is just too damn funny. I know my buddy CI Roller Dude will especially like this. The funniest thing though is the fact that this is way more accurate than the real FM. Sorry if this doesn't make a hell of a lot of sense to my civilian readers, but trust me - this shit is funny. ht to B5

The Army has a lot of processes that it is still trying to figure out. Don’t worry about these things. Just be happy if somebody actually gets you an order that you can understand in time for you to do something about it.

Oh and be sure to read all the way down to the glossary. My favorite:

Soldier: Individual speaking in expletives and wearing cool-looking digital camouflage that doesn’t blend in with anything.

Happy New Year to All.

Merry Christmas

2007-12-25T08:35:00.001-07:00

Just a simple post to wish everyone a Merry Christmas, as you can see we are in the spirit here. With the Muslim holiday of Eid falling just before Christmas this year, things have been relatively quiet here. Thanks to everyone for all the support and care packages.

I am going to take a short break from the updates, but don't worry - you all can look forward to more smart ass comments after the New Year.

Runnin' and Gunnin'

2007-12-19T12:37:00.000-07:00

OK, I am officially NEVER going to write NSTR or "same ole' shit" again! The day after I posted Update:NSTR, all hell broke loose here. A very important someone was assassinated by an EFP here, and within a few hours everyone in the city with a gun was firing it into the air. The base defense guys were freaked out and more than a few bullets fell on the ground near people inside the base.

Timing being what it is for me, we were nearby when it happened and were one of the first American units to respond. The MPs showed up to collect evidence and talk to witnesses, but our main job was to keep our Partner Force from killing the nearby Iraqi Police. For those who haven't followed the drama here, the IPs, as they are known, are suspected of being heavily infiltrated by militia members, and so since the EFP was emplaced within sight of an IP checkpoint our Jundees almost went to war with their own Police Force. Luckily we settled that down, but soon information was flowing in like crazy, and we were rolling out on targets we had never heard of before. Either way, four nights in a row we hit target after target. Every night the same mix of excitement and fear - all your aches and pains are gone until you wind down at the end of the mission. Every night we rolled with our Partner Forces. Like the cavalry we came. We came fast and furious on them, unprepared for our speed and violence, they we were ours. How the Iraqis knew so much about who to hit so fast is a mystery to me, but every night the detainees from last night gave up a new set of targets.

Imagine you are in a dark and cramped Humvee, planted in your seat by the weight of your gear. You have the accelerator pinned to the floor, almost standing on it really, using the steering wheel to pull yourself forward to be sure you get every last horse out of that engine. With lights out, you scream into a village, soon dust envelopes you and all you can see are the two red tail lights of the Iraqi truck in front. You can taste the dust, feel it, it works into your pores. "Where the fuck is he going?", "Is this the house", "Fuck, fuck, drive, drive", "Shit, get out of here." "Move, move, get those fucking Iraqis moving!!" Then an explosion. You feel the concussion wave more than you hear it. And the smell and taste of it makes you gasp for fresh air. Pandemonium. Well, to the untrained eye maybe. Everyone is steel faced and everyone is focused. Doing their job. Trusting that the other guy will do his. Soon it is over, and how ever critical we may be of ourselves, we have bested the enemy and no one is even hurt. You RTB (Return to Base) and the sun is coming up. You are tired, but really that is not the word for it. Dead tired? No, not sure how to put it, but it takes a while to "Amp-down" and sleep. But sleep you do, sleep like the dead. Then up and at it again another day.

And so it was. Now we are "back to normal" as it were. But, now at least, we are past the "early in the deployment work as hard as you can" mode and into the "main deployment, make sure you get rest so you are ready for anything at any time" mode.

As for our media visit, you'll have to buy the book to find out about that, but much to my shagrin a lot of footage was shot for a special to air in the Spring. Not to be defeated, I remembered the advice of an old Platoon Sergeant of mine (no, not pee every chance you get, you never know) - when it comes to the media, be cordial, but drop the F-bomb as much as possible and they will edit you out!

What we have Wrought

2007-12-18T13:32:00.000-07:00

Thought for the day - "The Americans promised they would make Iraq a symbol of liberty and prosperity. Now it has neither."

As I have said before no one I know takes pride in defending the Islamist parties in power. They are corrupt and incompetent, and almost certainly backing the Islamification of Southern Iraq and in the pockets of Iranian agents. Women, especially, are certainly much worse off than under Saddam, at least by many accounts. I can't say much about the alternative, because that goes against official policy and I don't want to run afoul of the State department.

Of course, we shouldn't expect too much from a country like this, they can't live up to American expectations in such a short time frame, and there are many, many good Iraqis trying hard to bring forward a better future for their country. But it will take time and it will take blood. And when I see stories like this - "Bad" Women Raped and Killed - it really makes me hate this place.

If you need a lift after such a negative post, check this blogger out PPT Ranger- pretty funny stuff.

Chirtmas Mookie

2007-12-15T13:39:00.000-07:00

Tried to write an update today, but I am tired, have a headache, my feet are killing me, and this cough I have had for two months makes me see stars every time I have a coughing fit.

Things here have been interesting which doesn't necessarily mean good, but I'll save that for a proper update. I have gotten and shared a bunch of care packages - I am way behind in getting thank you e-mails out, but we are all grateful. I must say Hope's cookies are very good, but the brownies, holy shit what did you put in them?? Guys were fighting each other to get another brownie, I mean it - people were being thrown on the floor, out the door, etc.

Anyway, I am going to throw back a few beers and pass out, but thought you all might enjoy a peek at our early Christmas spirit - to the right is a picture of the Christmas Mookie. It is not well know, but Muqtada al-Sadr dresses up as Santa at the Iraq suug (marketplace) and hands out gifts and good tidings for all the little hajji's. One of his most popular gift is the lego advanced IED kit and the Mookie action doll with suicide belt.

Murray

2007-12-11T13:00:00.000-07:00

This is Murray, he is the biggest ass on camp.

Update: NSTR

2007-12-06T15:13:00.000-07:00

Well, really not too much to report here. One day after the other of the same shit. Today was a little weird in that, while I guess it wasn't technically a sandstorm, the sky was filled with dust and looked alternately gray and orange, with the sun just a silver disk in the sky. Some random thoughts to bore you with:

We've got a media personality coming here, so we're going to have to get cleaned up, keep our uniforms clean and take him out on something or other so he has a story. More later.
Someone up high threw a fit that we are wearing DCUs instead of ACUs. Honestly, I could give a shit, but the fact they are worried about that when we aren't getting the support we need for our missions really pisses me of. (For the record, ACUs melt and stick to the skin when on fire, DCUs don't. That and the Iraqis we roll with wear DCUs, so we stand out less - which is good.)
I think Bill Gates is a terrorist - if it weren't for all these stupid fucking PowerPoint presentations we have to do, we might actually get out and fight this war. I swear there are whole classes of Officers who can't write a cogent fucking sentence, but can animate the shit out of Powerpoint with sound and swirling text and all the nonesense. These guys are intimidated by the written word and need everything to be "visual". As the best sales rep I ever knew told me, "these guys are all sizzle and no steak."
"I must say I started to see more bad plans with good slides approved over good plans with no slides."
- Robert Walsh
We are having a terrible time trying to get translators - If you are a Titan/L3 stockholder you should sell your stock, these idiots are giving up margin every single day by not filling our requests. We've even taken the step of finding the local terps, interviewing them, and recommending them - but the Titan/L3 managers won't get off their lazy asses to do the work to get us terps so we can push our Ops. If you are a Titan/L3 executive, e-mail me and I will lay the smack down on you!
There is a mosque in town with American, British, and Israeli flags painted on the ground, so all the followers of peaceful Islam can wipe their feet on the flags on the way in. I am thinking about getting a few copies of the Quran for the latrine.
Speaking of Israel, Iraq is a country run by rumor, these people will believe the most outlandish rumor before even considering the truth. People near our base are afraid that when we get mortared, the mortars will bounce off our forcefield and hit their house, that we have Israeli spies working in our kitchen, and Iraqi is messed up because our Blackhawks spray "stupid gas" on people. No, seriously.

Umm, what was I saying?

Tagged

2007-12-03T16:03:00.000-07:00

Thanks (i think?) to Katana for tagging me for a meme. The rules are that I must (1) List 7 random facts about myself, (2) tag 7 people, and (3) leave a comment on their blog letting them know.

So Katana tagged me like weeks ago, and I didn't even know what the hell a meme was/is. And I don't even know 7 people with blogs who I can tag, but..... in the interest of giving my readers something different, here goes:

1. I don't deal well with authority and hate being told what to do. (I know, I know, what am I doing in the frikin' Army? Well, I'm in the Guard.)
2. I have a tattoo of the Tasmanian Devil on my shoulder. Few people outside my unit know this.
3. I am totally that white guy who is ~~only~~ mainly interested in Asian girls, especially American-born. Why, ask valleygirl, she's done the analysis.
4. While I am the guy who makes friends with everyone, and can get anything anywhere from my connections, in truth I am an introvert, and have to recover in solitude for all the time spent talking to people. I retreat to my books and blog.
5. My wife is truly my best friend. I don't understand my friends who always complain about their wives. I'd rather be with her then out with the guys.
6. I never thought I was any good a learning foreign languages, but since I first joined the Army I have learned to get by in 4 languages. Czech, Russian, Serbo-Croatian, Iraqi. Of course once I am "done" needing a language the vocabulary has gone for all but Czech, and of course Iraqi.
7. When it comes to Pirates versus Ninjas, I am without a doubt in the Pirate camp. Most ninjas run around in their long underwear, never have any fun or pick up cool women. And since discovering their source of power, the mystique surrounding Ninjas just isn't there anymore. Pirates, arghh, pirates on the other hand party ALL the time(like me), drink rum while working(again like me), and always, I mean always get the girl (ok, not so much). They know that rampaging through a coastal town shouldn't be all work. Now ninjas, they would just kill everyone and leave, not pirates. Exception: Katana is the only cool Ninja I know.

Tag your it? Damn, I am such a loser, I am only able to tag my buddy CI Roller Dude!

Seriously, who could support such idiocy?

2007-11-30T14:38:00.000-07:00

One of the worst things about being here in Iraq is that we are defending the democratically elected Islamist parties in power. Here are some of the great things Sharia-based laws have brought us this week. If you are of the mind that we need to "accommodate" this type of Islam in America, please do me a favor and kill yourself right fucking now.

A 20-year-old Saudi woman has been sentenced to be lashed after pressing charges against seven men who raped her and a male companion. (Whoa Tonto, did catch that last part right? Homosexuality is banned under Islam, but that only applies to catcher apparently. Ask any Afghan Vet.)
Thousands of Sudanese, many armed with clubs and knives, rallied Friday in a central square and demanded the execution of a British teacher convicted of insulting Islam for allowing her students to name a teddy bear "Muhammad." (I have named my roll of toilet paper Muhammad, bring it!)

Not sure yet, well, while it is true, Catholic Wedding vows include the phrase "A silent wife if a gift from the Lord" (wink, sis), the Quran (4:34) orders a man to beat his wife if she doesn't obey him? Check it out over at The Apostates of Islam Anyone tries to treat my daughters that way is going to get the ass beat - and not by me.

UPDATE:
Thru my friends at a three letter agency, I have been able to get satellite imagery of the protest in Sudan mentioned above. Just don't tell anyone where I got this.

Running on Java and Jolt

2007-11-26T17:09:00.000-07:00

"It is impossible to know who to trust here - the best advice is to trust no one"

That is surely the best advice I got from the outgoing team, and if I didn't hear it from CI-Roller dude, I am sure he would have said it. Everyone here you work with wants something from you and has some scam they are trying to run. People show up every day with some urgent information we should drop everything in order to discuss. Most of it is crap, or recycled intel they were able to sell to the last rotation, or the FOB down the road. Or worse, they are from the "enemy/insurgent/AIF/ACF/freedom fighter/Abu dirt-bag/take-your-pick" and they are trying to figure out what we already know.

My Gun TruckIf you look really closely, you can see a Hula girl on the hood. Nice touch, ehh?

There's LNs, short for Local National employee - we have all kinds on the base, cleaners, guards, a cook, etc. All seem nice, but ... they all live here, and they will still live here when we're gone, so they are easily extorted is my guess.

Then there's the local interpreters, man I haven't seen so much drama since Bosnia (yeah, SFOR14, you know what I mean) - I can't even go into it, but we had to clean house on these dudes. Shady.

Last but not least is the force we are supposed to train up and support. Mostly these are good dudes, some are real Soldiers. But there are some who are insurgent informers I guess, some are in it to make money one way or another. And every time they tell you something, the first thing going thru your head is, okay what is he getting out of this?

With all this your guard is always up. Everyone always smiles at you, says "Salam", seems to be so friendly, and so interested in you. "America, good, good." Man, I'm from the East Coast and I don't trust anyone who's always smiling at me. I always feel better when I'm with the Joes, and Tarzan or Shameless says "What the hell are you looking at?"

So, business continues to be good here. The days tend to blur together, especially when we have operations at night, or we get mortared when I'm trying to sleep. Nobody even notices the occasional gunfire anymore, the Iraqis shoot in the air for just about any reason.

So night ops, they suck, it is hard to see anything when we are speeding down a road, and the truck in front of you throws up dust everywhere. And then there's the roads that look like roads on the map, but, when you get there, there's no f'in road. Okay, its a rush too, especially if we nab a target, or grab a cache. That's one less chance someone innocent gets killed. And that's what keeps me motivated at least.

Speaking of night ops, I have to make my first product endorsement - Jolt Gum. This caffeinated gum is just what a Joe needs after a long day followed by a night mission. A special thanks to Jacki who sent us a bunch - the guys love the stuff and it surely kept a few tired drivers alert. And check it out, I found this when I searched for their link - Jolt supports the troops.

If you need more gum (and we know you do), rest assured all online orders shipping to a military address get bonus free gum. We always throw a bunch of free packettes in the box to help you when you're humping through the muck and need an extra boost.

Good luck and get home safely.

Now they really have my endorsement.

BTW, we had a good Thanksgiving, and Thank You to everyone who has sent care packages, well wishes, support e-mails. We really are well taken care of by you all. Today we even got a few packages that had Christmas decorations, so we've started to put those up.

The care packages have been a big boost - a few requests we do have are dried fruit, since we have a hard time getting fruit, along with nuts (especially Pistachios, we can't keep 'em around) for protein, we do want beef jerky and popcorn, and baby wipes. I know other bloggers have said not to send some of these things because they are over stocked with it, but believe me, we don't get that stuff here.

Okay, I am going to try to end on a positive note, and that is I really am amazed at the stars here - they are so bright and clear. I love being outside at night (except when the moon is up [;) to gaze at the stars, they are amazing here. The only thing is Mars is always high in the sky, often right overhead, shining down angrily over Iraq. How appropriate.

Happy Thanksgiving

2007-11-22T08:27:00.000-07:00

Happy Thanksgiving from Iraq. Here, well it is just another day. Another day out on the road, in training with the Iraqis, another day trying to put together the pieces of several puzzles, of trying to sort through, of trying to get through.

But then it is also not any other day. The most American of Holidays, it is a day to set aside differences and sit around the table and enjoy the bounty of our land together. To enjoy the company and conversation of good friends and family. It is a day not to take for granted.

So, Happy Thanksgiving to you America. And be Thankful – for the food on your table, the roof over your head, the safety of your loved ones, the peace you enjoy in your neighborhoods. For that is not normal in the course of human history, or in much of the world today.

And Thank You, America, for your support. Thank you anonymous strangers who have stopped me in the airport, at the store, at the gas station to say thanks and share a story of a relative who also served. Thank you my wife, my mom, my family and friends. Thank you readers who send encouragement and support. Thank you my fellow Warriors. Today as I have a modest Thanksgiving dinner prepared by the best Army cooks, it is for all of you I am Thankfull.

Something Right in Iraq, Something Wrong in Massachusetts

2007-11-16T08:27:00.000-07:00

Something Right

Check out Michael Yon's latest piece about the re-opening of St John’s Church in Baghdad.

Muslims mostly filled the front pews of St John’s. Muslims who want their Christian friends and neighbors to come home. The Christians who might see these photos likely will recognize their friends here. The Muslims in this neighborhood worry that other people will take the homes of their Christian neighbors, and that the Christians will never come back. And so they came to St John’s today in force, and they showed their faces, and they said, “Come back to Iraq. Come home.”

Something Wrong

Some idiot in Cambridge (People's Republic of Massachusetts) complained about the Boy Scouts there collection toiletries for our deployed troops (like me, who can't get any toiletries other than what my family mails me.) So the City government, based on the complaint of one whiner, caved-in and took the boxes away. Grow a pair pal, and stand up for what is right. Doesn't anyone teach their kids that anymore. Or I guess he wouldn't have actually gotten his position is he did that. Check it out here, here and here. The Scouts apparently spent $1,500 of their money to get this all set up. Please show them your support, for they stood with us.

Boy Scouts of America
Troop 45
PO Box 38-1241
Cambridge, MA 02238

Scouts of Troop 45 - We are with you, for you understand Duty, Honor, Courage, and Selfless Service. Let me know if there is anything I could send you from here as a heart-felt "Thank You."

And if you want to let Cambridge know how you feel about this, here is their contact info:

Marsha Weinerman:Executive Director

Cambridge Election Commission
Phone: (617) 349-4361
Fax: (617) 349-4366
Monday:8:30 a.m. - 8 p.m.
Tuesday to Thursday:8:30 a.m. - 5 p.m.
Friday:8:30 a.m.-Noon

Email to:Elections2@Cambridgema.gov

Now, if you oppose the war in Iraq, as many Americans do, I can respect that. I can even respect voicing your opposition in public - it is a right I am sworn to defend. But to oppose Government policy, by attacking, disparaging, or preventing support for our Troops is wrong, dim-witted, and cowardly. Soldiers don't make National Policy, your elected Representatives do. If you are really opposed to this war, then put something at risk to end it. Get out on the street protesting, lobby your Representatives, do something. Oh, but that's right you're a coward, and you aren't going to do something that might expose you, are you. Or maybe you're just opposed to it because everyone else is, like so many sheep. Much easier to anonymously pick on some Boy Scouts.

I got something waiting for ya'

Thank a Veteran Today

2007-11-12T03:00:00.001-07:00

Happy Veteran's Day to all my fellow vets. Especially Bill, Jim, 'Widge, and the SFOR crew. And of course all you 'knucks in the Battalion. If you know a Veteran take the time to thank them today for the sacrifices they've made for our Nation.

I know I haven't written lately, I'm working on an update post, but I do want everyone to know I am doing fine - the hours have been 16+ a day, so it's been hard to carve out the time. Also thanks from me and the boys for the care packages that have come in! It is always nice to have a little something from home when you need a lift.

Lastly, I want to put another plug in for my effort to raise money for Soldiers Angels. Anything bought through my Amazon storefront, or anything bought thru the Amazon search box (both to the right) will result in a commission (less taxes) I am donating. I will also be donating my Adsense revenue. So, while won't encourage additional consumption - if you are going to by it anyways, consider coming thru this page to Amazon and help those Soldiers in need.

~SG

Holding our collective breath

2007-11-03T14:58:00.000-06:00

Three IEDs were found in the small city we operate out of today. What is significant about this is that all three were called in to the IPs by local citizens who noticed something out of place. The police handled each one, and although one blew up not far from our gate, no one was hurt.

Things could still go to hell here, but everyday there is a little more news that things may really be turning a corner. To paraphrase General Petraeus, we'll really only know long afterwards when and if that has happened. For now I am going hope for the best and prepare for the worst.

"Six months ago, I wouldn't dare be outside, not even to stand near the garden gate by the street. Killings had become routine. I stopped going to work, I was so afraid," he said, chatting with friends on a street in the neighborhood.
-40-year-old al-Azawi

Whump, Whump, there it is!

2007-10-31T15:12:00.000-06:00

We folks, time for an update - I don't have lots of time to sneak these in, but work on it a a while each day, so what you get is a composite over several days. Fortunately I don't sleep much so this is my break from work.

The old team is gone and we have assumed responsibility for operations here (RIPTOA in army speak, or Relief In Place - Transfer Of Authority.) The outbound guys answered some last minute questions, hit some golf balls off the top of a bunker, and wished us well. We had an alert that there could be a mortar attack, and the guys who were leaving were anxious to get the hell out of here - Soldiers are superstitious about being in harms way when they're short (close to going home.) I said good bye and thanked Mike for his help transitioning his work to me.

I had just gotten to my hooch to try to get 20 minutes of sleep before going back to work, when I heard what I thought were mortars a few clicks to the north, I ran outside to see if we needed to man our mortars to fire counter-battery. But the impacts were loud, and one of the guys is on the radio, he says the are hitting a base about 6 clicks away, so to be that loud its either a large 120mm mortar or the Iranian rockets that hit Victory a few days before we got there. The sounds of "whump, whump" goes on for a while. Now the old team really wants to get out of here.

Iraqi Blood pays for the Resistance
Turns out even though it was a large barrage it was poorly aimed and while a few Americans are hurt, the only people killed are Iraqis who were unlucky enough to be near by. And so it is throughout Iraqi - the militias care little about whether they kill innocent Iraqis as long as they burnish their credibility by attacking Coalition Forces. These poor Iraqis were killed by rockets made in Iran and sent to Iraq to keep the blood flowing.

Picture Mister, Picture!
We've been out on several presence patrols already, and different areas of the city have very distinct feelings - from outright surprise at seeing a US patrol, to anger, to cordiality. Everyone is of course guarded, as if they are being watched, which of course they are. One thing that is common tough is the kids:

everywhere they have their hands out expecting something - candy, a soccer ball, whatever. We'd brought some candy to handout and one teenager wasn't impressed - "you're gonna me this? this is bullshit" he said in perfect English to the Captain.
and, as Michael Yon and other Milbloggers have commented on, everywhere they want to have their picture taken, even tough you'll obviously never be able to send them the picture.

Just like 1500, but with cell phones
I was talking to a local about the history of the area and the outlook of the people in the area, and his response really surprised me:

Don’t let the cell phones and satellite dishes fool you – these people are living in the middle ages, at least as far as their mentality goes.

His point was that like the Church in Medieval times, the Imams held the real power here in Shialand. I'll have to see how that plays, our, but I have heard similar sentiments from other OIF vets.

Iraqis reach out

2007-10-29T20:28:00.000-06:00

This is a story that should get more coverage - I picked it up over at Michael Totten. It seems that an Iraqi unit decided to raise money to help the victims of the fires in California. Much more than the money involved, it says something about the Iraqis themselves and the bonds they have formed with the Americans they have worked with.

In a speech given during the presentation, Col. Abbass (the Iraqi commander) stated that he and the Iraqi soldiers were connected with the American people in many ways, and they will not forget the help that the American government has given the Iraqi people. Abbass was honored to participate by sending a simple fund of $1,000 to the American people in San Diego, to lower the suffering felt by the tragedy.

Soldiers in my unit had their families evacuated from their homes last week, so this touched them particularly.

Some things just don't translate

2007-10-28T16:10:00.000-06:00

I am working on a update post, but I have been incredibly busy. And on top of working late every day (it 0112 right now and I am just going to sleep) the call to prayer blares out every morning at around 0445 and goes on and on.

However, I found this in the laundry trailer and had to share.

If you notice there are lemons in the upper left hand corner, making this lemon barf. I checked the label to see where this was made - can you guess? Who would have thought we'd have Iranian barf to wash our clothes with. You just can't make this shit up.

Inshallah

2007-10-24T12:51:00.000-06:00

Well we are getting settled in here and the old crew is filtering out. We have been out several times to other local US bases our Iraqi Partner Force HQ and their training camp. The Iraqis play very good hosts and always have lunch prepared for us, and/or Chai (tea) depending on the time of day. So far it has just been meet and greet type stuff, and the Iraqis are always asking for more support from us, even though our focus is to teach them to stand on their own (so we can stop coming here.) But it seems that this unit gets very little support from Baghdad, and according to the commander of this battalion sized element, the main reason is they refuse to function as an extension of the Dawa party. Of course, everyone here has an agenda and we have to be careful about taking anything at face value. People will say “Well, that’s how Arabs are.” But I saw the saw thing in Bosnia, and you get the same thing dealing with Organized Crime in the States. People only give you information if they get something out of it – the trick is to figure out how they stand to gain. Come to think of it I have had the same experience in consulting.

Anyhow, during our first meeting, the Major was discussing some issue the Iraqis want our help with, and he was saying we would do what we can to look into it, being careful not to make any promises. Major M thought he would show a little cultural sensitivity and threw in “Inshallah”, which means God willing, and is used to avoid taking any accountability for your commitments, since if you fail to deliver it was God’s will. And who are you to question God.

Of course, this is not the Iraqi’s first rotation – he has been here dealing with Americans since we arrived. His response:

Is that an American Inshallah or an Iraqi Inshallah?

Doh! They know Americans value their word, and he would like us to commit to providing direct support and pressing his government as well.

The city itself is fairly quiet, sure there is sporadic gunfire and the occasional mortar, but it isn’t as bad as some of the other places out there. The weather has been excellent, great shorts weather in the day and a little cooler at night. A river runs through the city, and it feels a little less arid – maybe that’s all in my head. So right now we’re starting to get into a routine, workout, work and train, rest, sleep, pull guard duty, start all over.

In Country

2007-10-19T15:06:00.000-06:00

After the long months of training, we are finally here in Iraq. It took almost 4 days altogether to get to our Firebase, transiting thru Ireland, then Kuwait, and Baghdad. We rested in Baghdad for a little over a day before hopping on Blackhawks for a night time flight. Just as last time, it was the coolest part of the trip, the moon was partially obscured by clouds and was a mean red color. Its reflection kept appearing in the waterways we passed over like some angry sprit. This time we were sitting on the edge of the deck in the door - due to all our gear taking up the rest of the space. My leg eventually fell asleep. Even so it was pretty cool.

While that was the coolest part of the trip, the best part of the trip was in Shannon, Ireland. Of course, every time I am there I am sure to have Guinness. This time I had 3 pints, and it sure pissed of the Marines who were in the terminal too and under orders not to drink. Too bad, I didn't force them to join. My fondest memory of Shannon tough is when I landed there on St. Patrick's Day in 2004 when we were redeploying from Bosnia. That was awesome to have my first (legal) beer in months in Ireland on St. Paddy's Day.

That's all for now - got to go do some work.

Calm before the Storm

2007-10-16T01:09:00.001-06:00

Well, things have really dropped off in the last few days. After a final flurry of hectic-ness, we are now just waiting to go. Flights in the military are not like in real life. Our departure date keeps changing, so we just try to take care of last minute things, work out, and keep out of trouble (well, not everyone.)

A few weeks back, we had a Battalion meeting for one last time before we go. When I say we in this case, I mean my NG unit, not the Active Battalion I am attached to. Our guys are scattered across an entire Group. So it was cool to see everyone in one place. Of course there were various assembled dignitaries as well - mostly they said the same tired things Generals and Politicians can be counted on to say. "You're great", "We're proud of each of you", "I wish I could go with you." Really, well I have an extra M-4 and a turret position for ya' bud.

Generally, I could give two shits what these guys have to say. The highlight of the meeting was the awards given to my fellow Soldiers, recognizing them and their hard work, and the speech from our BC (Battalion Commander.) While 'Widge and I both have a rather negative view of the general level of leadership in the Guard, this man is an exception. No doubt this in part derives from the fact he has been deployed before and is also a cop who has (literally) put his life on the line for his fellow Americans.

The BC dismissed everyone who was not a Soldier in the Battalion and had the doors closed. I know I won't do it justice, but here are the things he said that stuck with me:

We have a real mission, a good mission, a mission we will all be proud of. Do your jobs and take care of each other. If you are thinking about doing something and you're not sure if it is right, then you are probably wrong and don't do it. ... Most of all do not bring shame on this unit. Do not bring shame on these men serving with you. Do not bring shame on yourself.

For you leaders - while Serving is an Honor, Leading ... is ... a Privilege

Leaders, your job is to take care of your men, that means they ... come ... first - they eat first, they sleep first, and their safety comes first. You like the rank, pay and prestige, well that is the cost. You can't put them first, you don't want the responsibility then resign and take off the rank.

There's a man I will follow into hell, as he lives the words he speaks. Too bad more don't get this.

Care packages for Grumpy

2007-10-16T00:51:00.000-06:00

For my family and friends, if you are interested in sending out a care package for me and my commrades, shoot me an e-mail and I'll send you my address. If you do decide to send a package, please review these rules compiled by other Soldiers:

Golden Rules of Care Packages
Care Packages

Anyone else who is interested in adopting our team, I have set up a wishlist at Amazon. Certainly don't feel obliged, but we will definately appreciate it as our Firebase is lacking all the fancy facilities and AAFES vendors you see on CNN. You can get to our wish list below on the right under "Worthy Causes" [;) Or check it out here:

The Rule of One

2007-10-14T22:40:00.000-06:00

Saw this in a comment over at Jack Army, and it is so true.

The "rule of one." i don't know if this is common knowledge or not, but the theory is:

in every group there is one real asshole.

if you can't identify him, then you're it.

Do you know if you are the one? Jack Army can help you figure it out fool.

A Srub and 2 Pins

2007-10-10T23:26:00.000-06:00

Well we tried to sneak in one more jump today, but the winds were too high and it was scrubbed. On the other hand, we were able to promote 2 of our PFCs to Specialist today, which I was pretty thrilled about since it has taken waaaaaaay to long to get a certain nameless to sign the paperwork to get these guys their deserved promotion.

Now if we could just get our rocket scientist (yes, really, one of our Specialists is a Rocket Scientist in real life) promoted to SGT. Then again pigs may fly.

Situation Normal

2007-10-09T12:35:00.000-06:00

Things here are that weird Army mix of numbing boredom and pandemonium. At a moments notice everyone will be spun up that something has to get done 5 minutes ago, and all the while the (Master and) Commander is coming up with new checklists he wants on his desk - "by COB big Sarge." The next minute the entire team is hanging around with nothing to do, but no one leaves to take care of personal business because a new emergency could erupt at any moment.

Which reminds me of a little encounter between yours truly, and let's call him Chief (who ostensibly conducts our team meetings. I would like to say he facilitates our meetings, but that would be a lie.)

Anyhow, we were off to a mandatory Battalion meeting right before the start of the weekend. Everybody else was dismissed for the day - "go to the meeting then take off." Not us:

Chief: Okay, we need to head out to <place>, so make sure you are all there by 1400. Then let's get back here by 1630 in case there is anything to put out.
Grumpy: Uh, Chief, is there anything to put out?
Chief: That's what the meetings for.
Grumpy: *squints* Well, if there's nothing to put out then we don't need the meeting, so is there anything to put out.
Chief: We're gonna figure that out at the meeting.
Grumpy: *grimace* No, you're not following me. Does anyone here have anything to put out? If not, we can let the Troops go.
Chief: Damn it, I don't know - that why we need the meeting. Stop being so difficult!
Sergeant Major: Hey, are you still grumpy?
Grumpy: I told you, I'm not Grumpy, I'm bitter, get used to it

That was what led me to get my drink on, then somehow a party got started in my room, and my buddies drank all my roommates beer. (hic) Which may partially explain my previous post. But I won't have to worry about drunk blogging soon, more on that and G.O. #1 in a future post.

Among the men we sing that circus diddy (Thunder and Blazes, actually) whenever things start getting stupid. You know, "dunt-dut-duh-di-duh-duh", where the clowns coming running in, going in all directions. Gotta maintain a sense of humor or you'll break [;P

And in a post-script to the story of Ohmygodinajad speaking at Columbia, Iranian students didn't give him an ovation during his speech at Tehran University on Ocober 8th.

Mr. Ahmadinejad angered students and professors at the university after his election in 2005 when he appointed a cleric as the university’s president. Many liberal professors and students have been dismissed since then.

Student leader Abedini said that although Ahmadinejad responded to students' questions during his visit to Columbia University in New York last month, "he's not ready to listen to the questions of students at Tehran University and answer them." Well, I am sure we are all shocked that freedom of expression is repressed in that bastion of intellectual freedom that is Iran. At least the Iranians can be proud their students know how to stand up to a tyrant.

Filipina girlz

2007-10-05T01:05:00.000-06:00

Is there anything better?

I was busting my team SGTs ass today that he didn't take me to the PI last year (knowing full well that he had no choice.) Too much. That is what I would ask for as an enlistment option, but I already have M - Irish/Filipina and every bit a spitfire. Love you girl.

2007-10-04T15:52:00.000-06:00

Sergeant Grumpy is announcing the opening of Sergeant Grumpy's Warrior Store in an attempt to do something for a great organization that truly supports America's fighting men and women - Soldier's Angels. I have set up a separate account just for this, and every cent of commission earned, less what I have to pay out in income tax, will be donated to Soldier's Angels.

I have put together an initial list of Grumpy books and movies I found relevant, instructional, or inspiring in the following categories:

Counterinsurgency Essentials
War stories
For Warriors
Professional Development

The store is powered by Amazon.com so aside from my recommendations, anything you buy there via my store will result in a small commission paid by Amazon.

Why did I pick Soldier's Angels? Well, actually I didn't the readers over at VAJoe's did when the voted in the Charity for Charities poll back in August. When I was thinking about doing this, I figured that was good enough of an endorsement for me. If I start generating enough traffic there, I'll consider donating to more places. Please support this effort and tell your friends. [;)

A little about Soldier's Angels in their own words:

Our mission is to provide aid and comfort to the military and its families, provide immediate response to hard situations, and make sure no soldier feels unloved.We start with letters, care packages, and comfort items to our deployed. We also help their families here at home as requested.

Through special projects, dedicated teams and individuals supporting our troops we hope to make a difference in the lives of our soldiers.

Widge says....

2007-09-30T22:33:00.000-06:00

Iraq is ... like being in 1500 A.D. with cell phones. Check out my buddy's new blog Cop & Soldier thoughts.

Corporal Grumpy?

2007-09-29T22:16:00.000-06:00

Looks like someone else on the team is getting a little grumpy. The good Corporal has a ways to go to match me though, don't worry. [;)

The smile of a child

2007-09-29T01:08:00.001-06:00

I've seen it in Bosnia, i've seen it in Iraq, and i've seen it in New Orleans - that look from a child young enough to believe you are Superman, or a being from another land capable of the miraculous. Unless you are a fireman, you probably have no idea what it is like to have children stop and watch you pass in rapt attention with a look of awe and admiration on their face.

That look . . . it holds the hope, the wish, the prayer that you will live up to their belief that you can save the day. That you can keep them safe. That you can make it okay.

That look. It is is the glory and the horror.

Ahmadinejadathon-and-on-and-on

2007-09-26T16:54:00.000-06:00

US media has handed Iran's President, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, an unbelievable PR victory. Instead of refusing him the press time he was looking for, we have played right into his hands. This is especially true of the students at the supposedly "liberal" institution of Columbia. We can be sure the applause they gave him will be replayed on Iranian TV ad-nauseam.

They cheered a man who sanctions the murder (often by stoning) of homosexuals, men and women who have sex out of wedlock (in one case a couple was killed for holding hands in public), has advocated the destruction of Israel, and questions the Holocaust. Apparently, being a liberal does not mean you are a defender of Human Rights, only that you support anyone who opposes US policy. Lenin, Stalin, Mao, Ho Chi Minh, Che all mass murders who were darlings of the left. Dictators around the world can take comfort from their concern for liberty.

In Iran, the media response was to celebrate Ahmadinejad's defiant visit to the "Lion's Den". Below are some quotes from the official Iranian news agency:

amid standing ovation of the audience that had attended the hall where the Iranian President was to give his lecture as of early hours of the day
The audience on repeated occasion applauded Ahmadinejad when he touched on international crises.
Iran's President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad said Monday that the US has turned to a large prison where the media are keeping the American people away from truth.
"Iranians are the freest and the most intellectual nation in the world and are well informed of the daily news."

A man is known by the company he keeps . . .

President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad of Iran and his Zimbabwean counterpart Robert Mugabe discuss the need for unity of the developing states against the US and British neocolonialism.
With President-for-life Assad
Best Buddies Mahmie and Hewie

Just can't keep my hands off those Latin Lefties!!!!