Sunday, January 20, 2008

Steaming Bowl of Suck, part II

So back to my story. Remember now readers, that it has only rained all day only once during our entire deployment, and we have been out that whole night. And it is cold, really cold. Cold enough for it to snow in Baghdad and cold enough for us to have to worry about hypo-thermia - the senior NCOs will be keeping an eye on everyone tonight.

I saw the lead HMMWV (Humvee) start to turn right, there was a shadow on the ground right where it was turning. In the dark of night, with shadows being cast about by the Iraqi vehicle's headlights, no way to tell if you are looking a shadow or a hole in the ground. Then the Humvee started sliding right. My first thought was that my mind was not properly interpreting the light stimulating the back of my retina, I couldn't make sense of what I was seeing. Then the realization, "Oh Shit." All we could do was watch as the vehicle listed 30 degrees to the right and sank up to the window in muck.

Shortly after this we are all standing around the vehicle, with perimeter security having been set up, admiring how fucked we are. The Humvee is stuck in a black muck, the smell of which can only be experienced, but not described. It is clear this hole in the ground was been used as a waste receptacle. Being that the Iraqis believe this area to be the cradle of civilization, the shit our Humvee is stuck in may be as old as Babylon itself. And it smells like it. Bad enough to make you almost pass out.

We hook up our tow straps to two other Humvees to try to pull the thing out, but because of the rain, the ground has gone from hard-pack dirt to mud soup, and we risk getting another vehicle stuck, but we have to try. Shit won't budge. Plus there is still the mission. We decide to break into several elements - one to go hit the target, one to continue to pull security and one to try find some construction equipment...


Anonymous said...

"Shortly after this we are all standing around the vehicle, with perimeter security having been set up, admiring how fucked we are."

I don't know why this is such a clear image, but it was. I laughed tea right out of my nose!! you poor guys...

Katana said...

you know.... eww.

Should I send you baby wipes?

"D" said...

Grumpy, If you haven't figure out yet...all of Iraq is a big donkey shit with a little hajji shit mixed in. I visited a lot of the place and it all smells bad.
Just incase you might have thought your old unit here got any better, guess again...they got even worse. You'd think after deploying so many people to so many places they'd be good at it, but they just get worse. 1.5 years to retirement.

Be safe!

CI-Roller Dude.

David M said...

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